Excessive Public Profanity

[Vek]

What do you do when:

Scenario #1, 2 days ago: While lifting weights at the Anchorage West Alaska Club, some late teen or early-20-something guy is doing some sort of weird calisthenic routine with his 40-something friend/mentor. Some sort of weird run-in-place then do five pushups then hit yourself twice in the stomach then do a couple of burpees type of thing. All the while, young guy is explaining in some sort of white-bread ghetto-speak grunting about how "some guy got all up in his s--- and so I dropped a bomb on his a-- and f----- him up real good and everyone there stopped their s--- talking and gave me some respect and..." on and on and on, for several minutes. It was somewhat entertaining, but there were women around, as well as other thick but otherwise harmless lifters like myself going about our routines. Whitebread is young, relatively strong and large but not excessively so, and in decent condition. Mentor is cut up pretty good but is all arms and chest.

Scenario #2, last summer: While dining at Moose's Tooth with parents (from out of town), wife, and infant son, a relatively young (late 20s / early 30s, my age), thick, muscled, crewcutted guy is talking loudly about something I don't remember, and his language is plenty colorful. Beer is on the table, but he's not had enough to drink to affect behavior (IMO). Odd that the crowd he's with are a similarly-aged mixed group, and they're not seemingly put off by the colorful language. None of the group are as physically imposing as the blue linguist. My parents are conservative old Assemblies of God folk and I know based on how quiet our table talk is that they're not really enjoying themselves.

Now I'm not quick with the spoken word so I'm not going to win a battle of wits. I'm exactly the wrong guy to do the "hey, shut up" type of confrontation, because I'm old enough that the hothead in #1 might try to pick a fight, and big/fit enough that the blue linguist in #2 might bow up and want to fight. I don't want to fight. What to do? I filed both experiences under "not worth the trouble", but they bother me, in retrospect.

 

[the nikster]

colorful speech doesn't usually bother me except when I'm with the wife or kids.
Seems to me a lot of folks have limited the use of their vocabulary to words grandma never used. Another form of disrespect(to those around them).
I am a big guy and folks tend to listen when I ask them to mellow out but I pick my battles as you did. In your situation I'd have likely done the same.

 

[ret25yo]

talk to the managers/ or owners and ask the manager to remind them these are family type environments
i'm a small guy... so i tend to pick battles..very wisely..

 

[Xanfly]

Had a similar experience at Romano's not long ago.

Was with my wife eating and the guy in the next booth over looked and sounded to be on a first date with a girl. He was being pretty loud and obnoxious, using some pretty colorful language(if I was the girl I would have left him sitting there alone). We mentioned it to the waitress and she got her floor supervisor to talk to him. He actually took it well and for the most part kept himself in check. It wasn't a real big concern for me, as I don't have the cleanest vocabulary, I just know when and where to keep it to myself, but there were some other people around that seemed really bothered by it but would not say anything.

Most of the time even if they are big guys they won't make a big deal about it but always better to let the people getting paid to be the bad guys. At least they have the right to boot em out when you don't.

 

[jmg]

I usually tell them to shut the (*&^ up and take their ^$%# outside.

Really, when I've had my kids around I have no problem telling people to watch the language, kids are around. Usually they are ok with that, or they just walk off annoyed.

 

[Vince]

I usually tell them to shut the (*&^ up and take their ^$%# outside.

Really, when I've had my kids around I have no problem telling people to watch the language, kids are around. Usually they are ok with that, or they just walk off annoyed.

FTHAT!!!!!


i tell my kids to show them how to say it right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[kingfisherktn]

FTHAT!!!!!


i tell my kids to show them how to say it right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why don't I doubt that?

 

[Vince]

Why don't I doubt that?

because my mom walks into a bar and saliors come out blushing in shame





Folks that worry about waht their kids may hear... have NO idea what will be said in school BY there own children. or realise how much the child picked up fro you to begin with...


BUT it is okay to watch sponge bob...??????????


any word is profane when used in such a manner...


and that is what should be taught to them..... THE DIFFERENCE !!!! you kids swear behind your backs... from the time they are old enough to be away from you...the venicular is the issue

 

[akshrop]

If it is bothering me or those I am with, I usually will ask them to stop. I ask politely and 9 out of 10, there have been no issues. If they don't, I will then ask management to deal with it. I have never gotten into a physical altercation over it and I am far from a big guy. Generally I find that if I am polite, it has been returned. One time that I was really concerned about the outcome was at a camp ground where a camp of about 15 guys were yelling, cursing and telling sexually explicit stories at two in the morning. They were very drunk. I had my then 7-8 year old daughter with me. I also wanted to get some sleep. Things worked out fine however. I asked them to tone it down and they were very apologetic.

 

[Amigo Will]

If kids are exposed to the public or T.V. they probably heard it already and may even know what it all means.

 

[campingfoool]

Just rude

Just rude

Well I'm a pretty big guy and I've been the rude drunk that has been asked to tone it down and I was actually glad that some one put me in check - I was embarrassed too. I've also been the family guy that has been out with mom, granny and kids and asked someone to tone it down. I gues like somone else suggested that asking the manager is a good option too. Like the other folks suggested - pick your battles.

 

[akshrop]

Playing the devil's advocate here, but excusing vulgar language and sexually explicit language by assuming kids have heard it, is not justified in my mind. It is not always the case, and even when it is the case, it does not have to be re-enforced. I got freedom of speech, but by the same token, freedom goes both ways. I should be able to take my family in public without hearing some of the things people say, at least at the volume that it often comes out with. I believe that many municipalities even have ordinances against it (language, volume, disturbing the peace, ect…), so people could conceivably ask law enforcement to put a stop to it.

Sorry for the highjack from the original post.

 

[Mike Echo]

I wouldn't call it a hijack

I wouldn't call it a hijack

just a different perspective.
I would have to consider where I am. A family kind of restaurant is one thing, grabbing a burger at a roadhouse is another. If I think the language goes beyond the pale with that consideration, I will ask quietly once then let the manager know and decide what he/she wants to do. I've not had the situation escalate beyond that in a long time.
Mike

 

[Sollybug]

Yeah I agree at the AKClub I would tell management that they are offending members and making them uncomfortable and ask that they be talked to. They will listen so they dont lose their membership. In the second case you could also ask a manager to talk to them or just ask them nicely pointing out the children around. You can also ask the management for a new table and tell them why. I have the worst problem in the pool locker room when the teenagers start spouting off profanity in front of my toddler. For some reason the unsupervised kids there seem to be on their worst behavior. But so far when I ask them to stop they have. Their friends even start yelling at them for me.....