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Blabbercrap & Ammo Magazine (BS&A Mag.):
"Hello "Tedious" Tim McMillionth, we have come to you today to interview you about your marvelous and highly accurate rifles."
Tedious Tim:
Hello BS&A mag. staff, let me take off my custom microscope glasses that I made myself, they do have an exceptional field of view and they have 102.00000001% light tranmission.
BS&A Mag.:
Ah........ok. So anyways........Tell us a little bit about your shop and any special equipment that you use to construct your rifles.
Tedious Tim:
Well......it's just me hand constructing everything, I fired all of the staff and sold all the inaccurate CNC machines to Kimber. The two technicians that worked for me were showing up to work about .03 of an MOA.....I mean minute late for work.
BS&A Mag.:
What special process do you use in constructing the barrels of your rifles? You must have some special process considering that your rifles have a one-hole group with Wolf ammo gaurentee and a paper target to prove it.
Tedious Tim:
Well......my barrels are made of the highest quality stainless steel that can be found anywhere in the world. I cut the barrel blanks to 28 inches and send them to Anarctica (only in the winter) to be nitrogen purged. Since it's like 100 below zero.........the nitrogen stays on the barrels longer and they are stressed relieved at a much lower temp. for a longer period of time than the other guys. We don't even want to go into the process of cutting the rifling......you wouldn't understand or comprehend that process, not to mention......you will need the space in your magazine for the "Election Alert" and Swift Boat articles.
BS&A Mag.: HEY, this isnt about politically biased articles, this is about Guns! Stay on subject Tim! So what special processes do you have for your actions?
Tedious Tim:
Well.....They are naturally made of a solid billet of titanium mixed with chrome, cryptonite, and other various chemicals and metals that I can't disclose at this time. I used to "blueprint" the actions but that gimmick phrase doesn't work anymore with customers so I have my own process called "The Three Part Accurizing Process" I basically calibrate every piece of the action with a micrometer, caliper, microscope glasses, and other various tools that are all calibrated to .0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 01 of an inch. Then.....I send them to a Shaimen in Africa to be blessed for over a week. The Third part of the accurizing process is to assemble the barreled action together using the "Dark Room" where no light, noise, humidity, germs, or Democrats can penetrate.
BS&A Mag.:
What is the scariest thing that has ever happened in your shop?
Tedious Tim:
Well.........One day.......during my three day bore scoping process where I go over the rifling for three 10.0000001 hours a day, I was on the third and final day of the bore scoping process. I discovered a microscopic tool mark rougly half way into the bore I dropped the rifle and fell to the ground and fainted. When I came to.....one of my technicians that used to work with me got within 3.0000010025 ft. And I hollered to him: NOOOOOOOO! GET AWAY FROM THE RIFLE BEFORE YOU GET AFFECTED WITH THE BAD ACCURACY GERMS! But it was too late.......he touched the rifle and I had to fire him. I called authorities, they cordoned my house off and disoposed of the infected rifle. What was your scariest thing to ever happen to you guys at BS&A Mag.?
BS&A Mag.:
Well.........considering we have like 5 or more typos and blantantly false tidbits of info like every issue, every month...........we don't really care. We never have scary days.......the boss man pretty much gave up on us and factors in the collateral damage. But one day......I dropped a brand new Kimber off the desk that was to go up for review........it was kind of scary......but it grouped better and stopped jamming afterwards and it all worked out ok. Another day......I accidentally backed over a Model 9410 wichester shotgun that was up for review. It was a little scary but I thought.......oh well Winchester is going out of business anyways.....who cares.
"Hello "Tedious" Tim McMillionth, we have come to you today to interview you about your marvelous and highly accurate rifles."
Tedious Tim:
Hello BS&A mag. staff, let me take off my custom microscope glasses that I made myself, they do have an exceptional field of view and they have 102.00000001% light tranmission.
BS&A Mag.:
Ah........ok. So anyways........Tell us a little bit about your shop and any special equipment that you use to construct your rifles.
Tedious Tim:
Well......it's just me hand constructing everything, I fired all of the staff and sold all the inaccurate CNC machines to Kimber. The two technicians that worked for me were showing up to work about .03 of an MOA.....I mean minute late for work.
BS&A Mag.:
What special process do you use in constructing the barrels of your rifles? You must have some special process considering that your rifles have a one-hole group with Wolf ammo gaurentee and a paper target to prove it.
Tedious Tim:
Well......my barrels are made of the highest quality stainless steel that can be found anywhere in the world. I cut the barrel blanks to 28 inches and send them to Anarctica (only in the winter) to be nitrogen purged. Since it's like 100 below zero.........the nitrogen stays on the barrels longer and they are stressed relieved at a much lower temp. for a longer period of time than the other guys. We don't even want to go into the process of cutting the rifling......you wouldn't understand or comprehend that process, not to mention......you will need the space in your magazine for the "Election Alert" and Swift Boat articles.
BS&A Mag.: HEY, this isnt about politically biased articles, this is about Guns! Stay on subject Tim! So what special processes do you have for your actions?
Tedious Tim:
Well.....They are naturally made of a solid billet of titanium mixed with chrome, cryptonite, and other various chemicals and metals that I can't disclose at this time. I used to "blueprint" the actions but that gimmick phrase doesn't work anymore with customers so I have my own process called "The Three Part Accurizing Process" I basically calibrate every piece of the action with a micrometer, caliper, microscope glasses, and other various tools that are all calibrated to .0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 01 of an inch. Then.....I send them to a Shaimen in Africa to be blessed for over a week. The Third part of the accurizing process is to assemble the barreled action together using the "Dark Room" where no light, noise, humidity, germs, or Democrats can penetrate.
BS&A Mag.:
What is the scariest thing that has ever happened in your shop?
Tedious Tim:
Well.........One day.......during my three day bore scoping process where I go over the rifling for three 10.0000001 hours a day, I was on the third and final day of the bore scoping process. I discovered a microscopic tool mark rougly half way into the bore I dropped the rifle and fell to the ground and fainted. When I came to.....one of my technicians that used to work with me got within 3.0000010025 ft. And I hollered to him: NOOOOOOOO! GET AWAY FROM THE RIFLE BEFORE YOU GET AFFECTED WITH THE BAD ACCURACY GERMS! But it was too late.......he touched the rifle and I had to fire him. I called authorities, they cordoned my house off and disoposed of the infected rifle. What was your scariest thing to ever happen to you guys at BS&A Mag.?
BS&A Mag.:
Well.........considering we have like 5 or more typos and blantantly false tidbits of info like every issue, every month...........we don't really care. We never have scary days.......the boss man pretty much gave up on us and factors in the collateral damage. But one day......I dropped a brand new Kimber off the desk that was to go up for review........it was kind of scary......but it grouped better and stopped jamming afterwards and it all worked out ok. Another day......I accidentally backed over a Model 9410 wichester shotgun that was up for review. It was a little scary but I thought.......oh well Winchester is going out of business anyways.....who cares.
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