Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Fortymile Caribou Fat, Happy

  1. #1
    Member SkinnyD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    20B
    Posts
    1,379

    Default Fortymile Caribou Fat, Happy

    As the proud holder of a tag for a caribou, I have been quite disappointed as my daily calls to the hotline continue to be met with a recording telling me to stay home. Yesterday, I decided to drive over to Circle to see the agglomeration of caribou that must have been practically stopping traffic to keep the hunt closed for so long. I figured that if nothing else, I'd take some pictures and maybe stomp around and look for ptarmigan along the way.
    Upon reaching a certain spot along the highway several miles from Fox, I did indeed encounter what appeared to be the entire herd of Fortymile Upland Caribou, heretofore to be known as FUC. Some caribou were munching on willow catkins in a creek bottom while others napped in the sun by the road. Two calves were rolling on their backs in the powdery snow. One old bull was leaning up against a guard rail smoking a cigarette with his fat belly hanging well over his belt.
    Being a journalist by training, I parked the truck and got out to document the FUC in color photography. I had no more than snapped a couple of pictures, though, when the apparent leader of the FUC approached me from behind and tapped me on the shoulder with his hoof. I was scared, to say the least, but he gave me a smile and assured me that he would not gore me with his one remaining antler. However, he said, I was to immediately cease taking pictures because the FUC were quite happy with their location. He said that if I posted pictures of the beautiful scenery and did not show thousands of caribou in the foreground, F&G might wrongly interpret the picture to mean that the FUC had moved away from the highway. I told him that I would stop taking pictures immediately. He said, I know you will, then he kicked me in the knee with his hind hoof and snatched my camera. His cloven hooves kept him from operating the buttons to check my memory card, so he threw the Nikon on the ground, shattering it into a million pieces. Glad to have that out of the way, he told me. What else would you like to ask me?
    What about the other members who lived along the Taylor Highway, I asked. The leader of the FUC told me that they had been invited here to the Valley of Many Catkins, but they had declined as apparently one calf had strep throat and a cow had a sprained ankle. Their families had elected to stay behind with them, which was commendable, he said, because in so doing, they had become the season's sacrificial caribou. He stared off at the mountains silently for a moment, then said "bless them," before telling me that he was due for a back rub down by the creek. Apparently the masseuse had hooves to die for. We bid each other farewell and I drove back to Fairbanks.
    Passing up shots on mergansers since 1992.


  2. #2
    Member ACNDHO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    wasilla
    Posts
    408

    Default

    Sounds like one heck of a trip, talkin with bou!
    Even a jackass won't stumble on the same stone twice.

  3. #3

    Default

    This sounds like total bull.

    ;-)

  4. #4
    Member Birdstrike's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Anchorage
    Posts
    1,159

    Default

    That's a very talented use of creativity. Was there any medicinal use of herb by the FUC or the reporter? lol. One of the better posts I've seen for awhile.

  5. #5
    Member FishKing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Wasilla, Alaska, United States
    Posts
    260

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Birdstrike View Post
    That's a very talented use of creativity. Was there any medicinal use of herb by the FUC or the reporter? lol. One of the better posts I've seen for awhile.
    Enteraining to say the least. So from what I have read, the bou around you were using medicinal herbs and you are a victim of second hand smoke... but you did not inhale

    Great stuff

  6. #6

    Cool LOL

    LoL, that is some good stuff. At lease you didn't get mooned to ad insult....

  7. #7
    Member ACNDHO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    wasilla
    Posts
    408

    Default

    Good one SkinnyD, ROFL
    Even a jackass won't stumble on the same stone twice.

  8. #8
    Member bushrat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Now residing in Fairbanks from the bush
    Posts
    4,363

    Default

    Seems like the memory card should still be intact. So show us some pics! <grin>

    (Enjoyed the post)

  9. #9
    Member ret25yo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Unit 13
    Posts
    1,471

    Default

    well what about the Delta Area Management caribou? I'd like to find some FUC aNd DAM caribou for my freezer... pics please

    If you cant stand behind the troops in Iraq.. Feel free to stand in front of them.

  10. #10
    Member SkinnyD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    20B
    Posts
    1,379

    Default

    I love it when folks ask me for pictures! Story was a satire. No caribou pictures

    sheep_096b1.jpgbear1.jpg
    Passing up shots on mergansers since 1992.


  11. #11
    Member SkinnyD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    20B
    Posts
    1,379

    Default

    maybe a couple more... it's always photography season in Alaska!

    caribou1.jpgbutterfly1.jpg
    Passing up shots on mergansers since 1992.


  12. #12
    Member ret25yo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Unit 13
    Posts
    1,471

    Default

    I'm pretty sure everyone knew it was satire,, but I love the pics.. the bear made me laugh

    If you cant stand behind the troops in Iraq.. Feel free to stand in front of them.

  13. #13
    Member kodiakrain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Kodiak, Ak
    Posts
    3,175

    Default

    Absolutely Fun to Read, thanks

    pics were good also, we could sure stand for more writing/imagining like that
    Ten Hours in that little raft off the AK peninsula, blowin' NW 60, in November.... "the Power of Life and Death is in the Tongue," and Yes, God is Good !

  14. #14

    Default

    Outstanding! You should write outdoor humor pieces.

  15. #15

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by littleman81 View Post
    Outstanding! You should write outdoor humor pieces.
    Heck with that, he should be writing Emergency Orders for the Bios. This post made more sense than any EO I have ever read.
    "96% of all Internet Quotes are suspect and the remaining 4% are fiction."
    ~~Abraham Lincoln~~

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •