Boys will be boys . . . if they live long enough!
And I wonder if most shooting addictions become cemented like this?
I just got this in an email from my brother who got it from a friend we grew up with. This is very much like the stupid stuff all three of us did as kids. I don’t know if this one is true but based on my very similar experiences with bows, guns, gasoline, propane, and other fun things found around a farm it’s quite believable to me. Enjoy!
I'm older now so the story can be told!
Around age ten, my dad got me one of those little badass long bow
beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land
sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did
you know that a 1955 40-horse Farmall tractor will take six rounds
before it goes down? Tough SOB.
That got boring, so being the ten-year-old Dukes of Hazard fan that
I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused
in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows
all over the place.
One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large
rotten tree stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport
and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether). The light
bulb went off. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought
that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner.
Let's face it: to a ten-year-old old mouth-breather like myself,
ether really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the
house and got a one-pound can of dad's muzzleloader Pyrodex.
At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the
can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit
around the ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie...
one pound of Pyrodex and sixteen ounces of ether should make a loud
pop, kinda like a firecracker you know? You know what? Heck with
that. I'm going back in the house for the other can. Yes, I got a
second can of Pyrodex and dumped it too.
Now we're cookin'. I stepped back about fifteen feet and lit the
two-stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and let fly. As I
released, I heard a swish as the arrow launched from my bow. In a
slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the
truck. OH CRAP! He just got home from work. So help me God it took
ten minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was
walking towards me in slow motion with a *** look in his eyes.
I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce
the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main
pile of pyrodex and into the can.
When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if
it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex
jerk back from 235 F'n decibels of sound. I caught a half a
millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and
I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering one
foot above the ground as far as I could see.
It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of
grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two. The daylight turned
purple. Let me repeat this... THE **** DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE!
There was a big tree out by the gate going into the
pasture. Notice I said "was". That mother got up and ran off. So
here I am, on the ground, blown completely out of my shoes, with my
thundercats T-shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the
carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: "ECHO
BRAVO CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE ****IT
His hat has blown off and is thirty feet behind him in the driveway.
All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there
is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about two thousand feet over our
backyard. There is a Honda 185s three-wheeler parked on the other
side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now
touching the tires.
I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know. I
know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my
own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would
really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said
something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp
pain, blacked out, woke later.... Repeat this process for an hour or
so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give
me CPR so dad could beat me some more.
Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again. Thanks mom.
One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again.
Mom had been *****ing about that thing for years, and dad never did
anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.
Dad sold his muzzleloaders a week or so later. And I still have some
sort of bone growth abnormality either from the blast or the
beating. Or both. I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids
into archery. Its good discipline and will teach them skills they
can use later on in life.
That was a great story! I can relate. I can't believe that I didn't burn down the old man's house, burning piles of 4350 and squishing primers in the vice.
Tears in my eyes made it hard to read towards the end. That was a good one I hadn't seen before.
Brings back some memories of the back yard/neighbor's back yard. Amazing we lived to tell about some of them. Great story!
I am not convinced the story is completly true, but it is an amusing story none the less.
Though I do remember shooting propane cans, and hanging lighters over candles and shooting them. So I suppose it is not too far off.
reminds me of blowin up ant hills ( carpenter ant nests were the BEST) with black cats..... and takin an aerosol can and lighter and torchin yellow jacket nests from 7 feet away....boy that was fun but i sure got stung alot....
Release Lake Trout
It's embellished in just the right places but I believe quite plausible in the major details. I won’t go into my own death wish just yet but here are two stunts done by others I know to be 100% true.
My first wife’s little brother did a good one. They had a rail road track about 100 yards behind their house in Beaver PA. One summer day my brother-in-law and some friends are out there building a fort when a train goes ripping past at 60mph. Being the intelligent 11 year old young man in training he was brother-in-law says “Hay, let’s put this front end loader tire on the track and see how far it flies when the train hits it.” So they do and sit there but no train came by to hit it. After two hours in ADD time (ten minutes) he says “Heck we may as well put that old bath tub on there too and get a two-fur.” Next thing they knew the junk pile was ten feet high and they all had to go home because it was getting dark. Next day there is a knock at the door and his mom opens it to find the feds, RR bulls, town cop, and sheriff deputies standing there asking if she had a boy living there. The 70+mph Amtrak came by in the night, hit the pile, almost derailed, launched junk hundreds of feet in all directions, and ripped all the brake lines out of the train. I saw pictures of the huge tire 50 feet up a tree, junk all over, and big hardwood trees snapped like twigs. Had it not gotten dark making the boys go home they very well may not have lived. Brother-in-law got probation and quite a beating but never ratted out just who the other boys were.
A blacksmithing friend of mine from Oklahoma was into muzzle loading, buck skinning, and the “War of Northern Aggression” as he called it. At age 16 he built a cannon from a 4” well casing wrapped round and around with rebar welded down on the outside. He used a 1 pound Folgers can poured full of led as a projectile and math it out in his head it needed 4 pounds of powder to proof it. He took it in the woods, cut down a 24” live oak then chained the cannon to the stump for proofing so as not to split his carriage. Loads the thing up with 4 pounds of FFFF black, inserts a hobby rocket fuse, lights it and makes tracks. KABOOM! He is knocked back off his feet even at 100 feet away hidden behind a tree. Cannon held just fine but it uprooted the tree stump and turned it to splinters. So now happy is if he had any sense he puts the cannon on the carriage and wheels it back home but he meets up with Johnny law along the way who promptly arrests him. According to the news paper clipping he showed me (complete with a picture of him in jail) he had broken windows in 14 houses and one was almost a mile away. His dad had to fix a bunch of windows and took his cannon but they couldn’t find anything criminal to charge him with. He was still irked 20 years later that his dad took a torch to his cannon though.
beening the yougest child of the family can remember some of the things that my older brother and sister did and got into trouble for ..
my thing was a motorcycle.. i was dateing this girl and we had went out to the lake without tellling anyone that night ..so i the way back we go by my mom and dad in the truck ..i did not think it was them intill the next julie was sitting in the front room with my mom and dad with them waiting for me to come from a chore that they had made me go and do ..
the only thing my dad said to me before asking for the keys to the bike was ..you both had you helmets on when you blew by me around 80 mph that night comeing back from the lake ..i ask him how did know how fast i was going when i went around you ..mom said for i was telling him to keep under 65 when you came blowing past us and that how fast i was going to get a good look at you ..
do you know hard it to try to date on a bicycle and go back to rideing the school bus again at 16 years old with the rest of the boys in the class has a car ..that last about 6 months before i got the keys back my dad ..but he wrecked the car and he give to keep my mouth shut to my mom about why we wrecked the car ....
when i was a kid one of the big things in the nieghborhood was bb gun wars....yes bb gun wars.......not the smartest thing right? especially when me and my brothers dad was and is anal about gun safety, and now so am i.....well we were havin a good one, 6 of us with our red ryders, my brother with his pumpmaster .......well he had the range and the velocity advantage over us......he could run out of cover and and still be safe cuz we couldnt reach him, but he could hit us from about 40 yards if he aimed high....well he duck and rolled out in front of me, fired, and the bb hit me just below my eye and came out inside my lower eyelid....man that really hurt....other bad things was one kid got his eye alsmot put out, another got shot in his ear canal and lost most of his hearing....my brother got shot in his adams apple and had to have major surgery......man we were freakin stupid. best part is, we kept doin it then one day we were shootin each other, and then we got into hand to hand combat and were just really turnin the dirt, when the old man busted out the door, grabbed both our rifles, broke them over his knee, and then proceeded to beat us with them till we couldnt get back up. yea that pretty much took the sport of bb wars out of us on top of that, i had to clean the barn and feed the stock every day for the rest of the summer, and my brother had to do the dishes, trash, and clean the chicken house for the rest of the summer...and we were grounded....couldnt come out of our rooms unless it was chores or mealtime. he also made us recite gun safety rules every evening before bed
Release Lake Trout
we where down at the road next to the beach in Corpus Christi .. when a very nicely bult women walked in front of us.. instead of watching where we where going him and my uncle was watching the lady with large chest walk down the road and he hit a light pole going real slow in the parking lot ..it was my mom car that he hit the light pole with ..
Wow that brings back some bad memories of the milk box half full of gas, m80 and all the firemen when I was about seven incident.