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Thread: A challenge to Alaskan Moose Hunters (need your collective help)

  1. #1
    Member mainer_in_ak's Avatar
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    Default A challenge to Alaskan Moose Hunters (need your collective help)

    Over the years I've been inspired by books, people I've met, and those who were free spirited folks who came to Alaska with nothing to their names and lived, thrived, and successefully fed themselves with nothing. It's basically the tradition of the frontiersman, the free spirit of those that conquered the unknown of our state that is my inspiration. I want to put together a hunt using nothing but the ugliest bull***** gear you've ever seen......and I want this to be an AOD member driven accomplishemnt with me being the idiot test pilot.
    I find life is boring when my fancy raingear keeps me dry, my gps tells me where on the river I'm at, and my scope shows a cystal-clear image of the moose im about to shoot along a fancy "x marks the spot of when to pull the trigger". I find it boring when my fancy moose call can be used as a funnel fill my truck with oil, mix drinks for my buddies, thrash brush, and sold online with a fancy video that shows me all the "set it and forget it" uses of this mavelous "as seen on tv" device......all for six easy payments of $9.35" I find it boring when my perfect running outboard motor never breaks down, and my square sterned canoe crests the waves perfectly with an entire moose on board. I find it boring when my pack makes 100 lbs. feel like 65 lbs. because of it's perfect construction. I find it boring when my rifle has most of it's blueing......even though it's fancy and new in appearance.
    So this is what I need to make this joke a reality. I need to buy gear that is ugly, has holes in it, is old, and only costs 1 dollar........cuz nothing in this life is free. Here is a list for this junkyard moose hunt and if you think you can contribute than post NOW! You must include a photo of the item for sale and the ugliest one wins the dollar.....you must buy it back from me at the end of the season though for 50 cents.
    I'm going to make a square sterned canoe out of birch bark, and I hope it takes on water.
    I need a pair of hip wader boots with holes in size 10-11. If they smell bad, ill just soak em, if they have holes, ill patch them.....the ugliest pair gets my dollar.
    I need the ugliest, oldest johnson or evinrude 9.9-15 horse outboard motor you have (i know they are out there i see them coming out of wasilla on craiglist all the time in "like new condition"). I don't care if your wife planted a **** flower garden around it cuz she thought it looks "old and pretty" I don't care if a family of red squirrels lives in cylinder # 1. I don't care if four foot grass grew up all around it, and I don't care if it doesnt run, I'll just by another for 1 dollar if I cant get it running.
    I need your 20 yr. old fuel that you are scarred to run in your fancy new jet drive, i dont care if it's mixed, and I dont care what oil you use or how old it is.
    I need old hunting clothing that is made out of wool. It has to be so old and ugly that the kid who played the banjo on the movie deliverence wouldnt even allow me on his property, the ugliest wool clothes that fits me gets my 1 dollar.
    I need a surplus military rifle, or old lever action rifle of sufficient killing power. I don't care if all the bluing is gone and it's sat outside, i dont care if the stock is grey, i dont care if it shoots 4 inch groups at 50 yards......it just has to be the ugliest and I'll buy it for 1 dollar......of course AOD will get their "10%" of the sale price payed......and like a forum member should.....I'll make sure they get their money. Just please make sure it has open sights.
    I got the coffee can covered And i think i got the bootlace covered too......it will be one ugly moose call.
    This junkyard moose hunt has a two fold purpose.......to show my respect to those free spirited Alaskans who conquered the unknown and lived to tell about it.......and to scoff at those individuals (i wont list any names) who are so fancy they think they need a bare minimum of a Zeiss scope, and premium bullets to hunt moose (even more premium than a nosler Partition).
    I WILL SPEND FULL PRICE ON A FEW BRAND NEW BLUE TARPS THOUGH......THERE AINT NO JOKING AROUND WHEN IT COMES TO VISQUEEN. Im not firing up my homemade woodstove unless I see "new blue" light shining through when I wake up in the morning.
    I hope the outboard stutters and breaks down occasionally, I hope the boat takes on a little bit of water where I have to pull out my bilge pump......a milk jug with the top cut off.
    I hope the rifle doesnt group too well.....but i do hope it doesnt jam.
    I hope my free maps and my old compass rivals my GPS and my fancy tritium lensatic compass.
    I hope I make it back alive......but if it takes two more weeks.....oh well
    Life really is boring sometimes with all of our fancy gear.

  2. #2
    Member thewhop2000's Avatar
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    Default I can sell you a rifle...

    That does not fire, a tent that I promise will leak, hip waders that smell of hunts ten years ago and will suck up H2O immediately, and a few other odds and ends. By the way if you are going to go hunting 50 miles or more off the beaten trail and late in the season, can I have you sign this term life insurance form? Please do not take a GPS. radiophone or land sat cause this will only weight you down when trying to make it back to safety. On second thought, take all of the above!!
    Please don't take any liquids or food for nurishment, you can get those out in the field
    Make sure you dress only in cotton and only wear sneakers cause it will make you easier to stalk those elusive animals.
    By the way, have you seen "Into the wild"? On second thought it was a crappy movie so don't waste your time. Good luck, I think?
    If a dipnetter dips a fish and there is no one around to see/hear it, Did he really dip?

  3. #3
    Member mainer_in_ak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thewhop2000 View Post
    That does not fire, a tent that I promise will leak, hip waders that smell of hunts ten years ago and will suck up H2O immediately, and a few other odds and ends. By the way if you are going to go hunting 50 miles or more off the beaten trail and late in the season, can I have you sign this term life insurance form? Please do not take a GPS. radiophone or land sat cause this will only weight you down when trying to make it back to safety. On second thought, take all of the above!!
    Please don't take any liquids or food for nurishment, you can get those out in the field
    Make sure you dress only in cotton and only wear sneakers cause it will make you easier to stalk those elusive animals.
    By the way, have you seen "Into the wild"? On second thought it was a crappy movie so don't waste your time. Good luck, I think?
    course i seen that rediculous movie, i threw up in my mouth. no sneakers or cotton needed mr. macho. and if you do have some stuff to contribute to this junkyard hunt......start posting pics. If not......then leave your stupid comments to yourself.....or meet me for coffee. no life insurance needed either as i dont dodge bullets anymore in iraq.
    thanks for the offer, and i hope to do businees with yah.....what kind of rifle is it all jokes aside? I will fix whatever is broke, and make sure that it's in decent condition

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    Member chico99645's Avatar
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    Mainer,

    Have I got a backpack for you. Its bright (faded real bad now) but still orange. Got it in 1975 when I was a Tenderfoot Boy Scout. Used it to go to Boy Scout Camp in Southern Maine. All I remember it was on a crystal clear lake, canoe only and the legend of 3 Fingered Wooly. Just the mention of his name still gives me the creeps. LOL Its in pretty good shape with a chinsey aluminum frame, not sure on how much weight it will carry, but it is ugly. Its yours if you want it for the whopping price of a cup of coffee. You should really go rustic and make your bow and arrows. Mic Mac Style before they got guns.

  5. #5
    Member Vince's Avatar
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    gotta have xtra tuff boots with goop in the holes... and the liner has to be half ripped out too..
    "If you are on a continuous search to be offended, you will always find what you are looking for; even when it isn't there."

    meet on face book here

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    Member cdubbin's Avatar
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    Mainer, this sounds like every hunt I've ever been on! Dirtbag carpenters that are addicted to Alaska often deal with these issues. My rifle is older than I am and looks like a dog has chewed on it, but it kills game. My dad hunted last season on a 4-wheeler whose tie-rods were held together with baling twine. Our tarps leak, our boots are ill-fitting, and our binocs get foggy. The only piece of gear going for us is our brains, which are probably too small to recognize the problem, because we keep going out there. I think you're right to try to test yourself rather than relying on technology. Good luck with your hunt.
    " Gas boats are bad enough, autos are an invention of the devil, and airplanes are worse." ~Allen Hasselborg

  7. #7

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    I'll donate a cup of rice if I get the book and movie rights to this event.

  8. #8
    Member hodgeman's Avatar
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    Mainer,
    You have arrived!

    Where is still debatable but I'll rummage through my ugly pile and let you know what I got.

  9. #9
    Member mainer_in_ak's Avatar
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    awsome.....start posting pics of this ugly gear folks. and keep your eyes peeled so we can collectively make this happen.

    MODS. pls make this thread as sticky as the tar i'm going to use to hold the birch bark together on the canoe

  10. #10

    Default Dude

    I ain't got any equipment that old or worn out. BUT, it sounds like your planning a "REDNECK MOOSE HUNT" to me. Wish I had the time to go moose hunting with you and take pics. They would be priceless on this forum.
    Surely there has got to be a "Kennedy" magnum lying around in someones closet that deserves a chance on a hunt like this.
    LUCK
    " Americans will never need the 2nd Amendment, until the government tries to take it away."

    On the road of life..... Pot holes keep things interesting !

  11. #11
    Moderator LuJon's Avatar
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    Why not build your own trapper nelson pack? Now that would be getting old school!

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    Supporting Member Amigo Will's Avatar
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    Talking

    If you get my lucky hunting outfit what will I use?

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    Member atvalaska's Avatar
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    Angry what the hell..

    ...that was my moose hunt and gear for years and i'll be damed if i'm going back there again!!!!
    WHEN IN DOUBT> THROTTLE OUT.......

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    Mainer you are one of a kind, and I'd share a camp or drink with you anyday.

    Atleast someone still gets it, the woodcraft, or whatever you want to call it that draws folks to the outdoors. It isnt about having the most bestest, its about being true to yourself on your hunt. Pretty soon sport will be totally taken over by technology, when the whole point is to re-establish a relationship with something natural and wild.

    I'll have to do some digging in the garage to see what I come up with.

  15. #15
    Member mainer_in_ak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LuJon View Post
    Why not build your own trapper nelson pack? Now that would be getting old school!

    old school is the pack basket that my grandma made that is already worn out, but ill make due with whatever is the ugliest for sure because the ugliest will make due.

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    Member mainer_in_ak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TomM View Post
    Mainer you are one of a kind, and I'd share a camp or drink with you anyday.

    Atleast someone still gets it, the woodcraft, or whatever you want to call it that draws folks to the outdoors. It isnt about having the most bestest, its about being true to yourself on your hunt. Pretty soon sport will be totally taken over by technology, when the whole point is to re-establish a relationship with something natural and wild.

    I'll have to do some digging in the garage to see what I come up with.

    I'm surely not one of a kind.....just displaced. Post pics of ur ugliest gear and i'll promise to use it if it fits the bill.

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    Default yer a wild child

    Quote Originally Posted by mainer_in_ak View Post
    I'm surely not one of a kind.....just displaced. Post pics of ur ugliest gear and i'll promise to use it if it fits the bill.
    While I might agree with the displaced, for now, you certainly are one of a kind .... and I like ya.

    thewhop, watch out for this guy. "They" aren't shooting at him anymore, he's safe back here with us now, having done our job over there, and very much so deserves our respect (and possibly a bit more accommodation than most). I'd suggest that all here help mainer in his quest (though possibly not accompany him, except as his insurance beneficiary )

    Mainer, you're gone wild on this thread, but more power to you I say. You've done more than many, and most of your life is still ahead of you, so go for it!

    Can I go with you on the "other trip" though? Like the one I sent to you a few days back? That one looks like fun instead of pure punishment to me. Install Google Earth (for free) on that computer of yours and then look up those same coordinates I sent you. Almost as long as you've been alive I've been picking out terrain where big game will congregate, and I choose this spot. Though we'll have to head back in our freighter canoes 10+ miles then bushwack a bit more, I know they're there.

  18. #18
    Member mainer_in_ak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FamilyMan View Post
    While I might agree with the displaced, for now, you certainly are one of a kind .... and I like ya.

    thewhop, watch out for this guy. "They" aren't shooting at him anymore, he's safe back here with us now, having done our job over there, and very much so deserves our respect (and possibly a bit more accommodation than most). I'd suggest that all here help mainer in his quest (though possibly not accompany him, except as his insurance beneficiary )

    Mainer, you're gone wild on this thread, but more power to you I say. You've done more than many, and most of your life is still ahead of you, so go for it!

    Can I go with you on the "other trip" though? Like the one I sent to you a few days back? That one looks like fun instead of pure punishment to me. Install Google Earth (for free) on that computer of yours and then look up those same coordinates I sent you. Almost as long as you've been alive I've been picking out terrain where big game will congregate, and I choose this spot. Though we'll have to head back in our freighter canoes 10+ miles then bushwack a bit more, I know they're there.
    a canoe is a a canoe no matter what my freind I feel disloyal everytime the 30-30 collects dust. I'll at least be a man of my word and use whatever gear is provided by other forum members no matter how ugly it might seem. I'd assume that nobody is stupid enough to accompany me on this hunt (and I hope so). BUT....come over to the gargage and see what a few shards of birch bark and alders can turn into. Come over and see what an older johnson or evinrude can be worked into usable again. I appreciate your supportive demeanor, and I also appreciate that you can respect what can be done with a minimal bank account. I hope that this attempt provides inspiration to those who already know or want to know. I miss clunker gear and want to leave my fancy gear behind at least half the season. You'd be surprised how far you can push an old johnson outboard, wool clothes, a can call, and a surplus or lever action rifle But.....you already knew that steve.

  19. #19
    Member bushrat's Avatar
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    Default I suggest to forego the outboard...

    ...which would make the birchbark canoe building simpler, and just line and pole the darn canoe upstream and go completely old-school that way. And who needs a #10 can when your own mouth and a piece of birch bark rolled into a cone works just as well? You're taking on too much "cargo" imo to really be old school <grin>.

    Either way though, certainly appreciate the intent and look fwd to hearing about how it went. Which would go over well here sitting out in the gazebo around the campfire, sipping some Maker's Mark or equivalent.

    Good luck!


  20. #20
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    You can have all my crap.
    Used, recylced, repaired, reused, and then reserected again.
    Ive got patches on the patches, and somethings gonna give.Ive gone so long on so little, I know how little you really need.

    I need to burn the teepee and start over anyhoo, equipment and transportation wize....maby I need dogs again.................. Im as worn out as my gear today, and that 50,000mile + been there done that, with every part replaced at least twice 600RMK that wont let me go fishing today , AGAIN. Arrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh, so here I am rewiring my engine harness and drinking another coffee infrontta my friends computer, warming up....again.....
    The camping gear is minimal and mostly milsurp........

    Military surpluse rifle? My Finn M-39 Mosin is like a family memeber, and its about all you cant have.

    Beter yet, come up this way and fix it all, then well go out together and see if we can come back eventually ~~LOL!!~~
    If you can't Kill it with a 30-06, you should Hide.

    "Dam it all", The Beaver told me.....

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