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Thread: The east coast deer hunter.

  1. #1

    Default The east coast deer hunter.

    Fellas is this too funny not to share!

    I was in the local Theisens store mid morning on monday buying a sack of Dog Chow for Ruger! Theisens is a farm and home store that sells about everything. They even have one of those free popcorn machines where all ya gotta do is sack it yourself and go (bigger sacks would be an improvement).

    I was strolling past the gun counter with my dog food in cart and scarffing my pop corn, I always have to take a gander at the guns and junk(most of it is).....you know see if they got anything new.

    This is where the story really starts. There standing at the counter was a "gentleman" who was as out of place as a turd in a punchbowl. This guy looked like he jumped off the cover of a fashion magazine and landed at this gun counter. Oh yeah he was dressed fit to kill..three piece suit and all. He even had a purse on his shoulder(I ain't kiddin)! Usually at this time of year this end of the store smells like a combination of doe in heat urine and skunk pee. Well whatever 5 gallons of crap this guy had doused himself in that morning combined with the natural smell of the store items made my nose burn. This guy was obviously fresh out of the Boston high society part of town. Neither I nor the guy behind the counter could understand most of what he said. One thing was very evident, from this guys point of view us Iowans were uneducated I believe "backwards" was the term he used. He was clear in stating that he would have to lower his standards in regards to everying now that he was in Iowa.

    This guy was a new economics proffessor at the college and since the college owns a bunch of timber south of town this guy was fixen to do a little slug gun hunting for whitetail deer when the season opens the first of december. It kinda appeared that this guy was tired of the big city and wanted to resort to a survivalist mentality and killing something was high on his agenda. I suppose compared to what this nimrod was used to Iowa does look like a vast wilderness.

    Ole Skipp the guy behind the counter usually works in the automotive department and was just a tad out of his comfort zone when it comes to firearms. About now I am getting real interested in whats about to transpire. On one side of the counter we have a guy who knows nothing about guns that is about to buy a gun from someone who knows little more. The guy is obviously cheaper than he dresses as cost seems to be his top priority(economics professor mentality). Skipp hands him a single shot H&R slug gun to which the guy states this is very light...."I like it". I am standing there grinning from ear to ear but say nothing however I am thinking that thing ought to knock a hair or two out of place on that moosed down hairdo. Since the gun didn't have iron sights but rather wore a scope base it was obvious he needed a scope. They looked at a Simmons 2x shotgun scope that was $54 but he liked the 22 rimfire scope better because it was 4x and $14 cheaper. I did the only right thing in light of the situation. I showed them which rings they needed and how to put it on the gun. Had he been a little less arrogant or just a bit more down to earth I might have learned him about eye relief. His arrogant attitude would have prevented him from hearing what the old backwards red neck in bib over-alls was saying anyway.

    Well I just came home from the post office and after completing my business I turned around to leave. Guess who was standing a few people behind me in line. Yup the professor. Only he looked different...he was sporting a bandage over his left eye.

    What can we learn from this story?........................The professor was for sure left handed!

  2. #2
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    Saw the end coming on this one, I love it. Gave me a good laff this moring. Some times I love letting people that "know" more than I do educate them sevles.

    I bet he's not eating venison for supper either!

  3. #3
    Member schmidty_dog's Avatar
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    Man great story. I know what you mean though... when you leave Iowa and people ask you where you are from and you tell them they think "Oh thats why your so big you are a cornfed farmboy!" Yeah, everyone from Iowa is 6'3'' 250 lbs right EKC? Cracks me up everytime how some people think...

  4. #4

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    Sorry to say that in another east coast tradition, he's probably already lawyered up. I'd think twice about going back into that store for a few weeks.

  5. #5

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    Waaaay funny!!! It's hard to believe that people like that exist, but they do

    Haven't seen too many like that around here... they haven't migrated this far yet

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by BrownBear View Post
    Sorry to say that in another east coast tradition, he's probably already lawyered up. I'd think twice about going back into that store for a few weeks.
    True, but I doubt an Iowa jury would be very sympathetic to his cause

  7. #7

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    One would hope, but how far is the nearest large town?

  8. #8
    Sponsor ADfields's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrownBear View Post
    One would hope, but how far is the nearest large town?
    Not much at all in the way of large towns in Iowa other than Des Moines and even then it's full of former farm folks. I doubt it would fly any more than a slip and fall case does in Alaska.
    Andy
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  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by BrownBear View Post
    Sorry to say that in another east coast tradition, he's probably already lawyered up. I'd think twice about going back into that store for a few weeks.
    He's coming after me because he developed a bad case of the flinchies?

    He picked out the gun and scope! I just showed him which rings would hold it on real tight......near as I can tell they did....even with the biggest and baddest 3 inch slugs.....again, his idea!!

    If I see him again I'm telling him that Alaska is the last frontier. You got a phone number BrownBear I'll hook you two up and then you can learn him when he gets there! Smile!

  10. #10
    Member mainer_in_ak's Avatar
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    I wouldnt even call that guy an "east coast deer hunter". Up in the woods of Maine....we would get infested with those folks every hunting season. we usually called them "flat landahs" or "Mas*holes" take ur pic. Man.....I'm glad i live in AK.

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    Default ..smells meterosexual...

    Exactly why I hate to answere the question, "so, where are you from..?"
    When I say, "upstate New York", the the next question is usually along the lines of "..did you see the planes on 9/11...?"

    We "Upstaters" basically despise that City...

    It's hard to dissociate "The City" from the rest of the state in the understanding of some peoples minds, there is more to the State than The City.., like the Adirondack Mountains, Dairy farms, logging, and the like.

    Manhattan is 366 miles from my home town, a good 6-7 hour drive.., but NOT quite far enough.
    Be happy you live in Iowa, and only see an occasional City Boy, cuz we have to deal with them by the hundreds every season.

    Great story...Kind of, if it weren't so sad,

    Scott

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    Great story, with a positive angle for me - one less nit-wit here on the east coast. My apologies to the fine state of Iowa, but I hope he arrived via a one-way ticket!

    Jeff

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