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Thread: Hunting Alone & The dreaded Wife

  1. #1

    Default Hunting Alone & The dreaded Wife

    As a young boy in the heart of Maine on a small pond I was allowed to fish on a dock by myself at the tender age of three. I would fish and catch Pickerel on my families water front property until I was dragged, unwillingly, inside by my father. I distinctly remember my mother calling me, while I was fishing, with my snoppy pole, and I would run for the leaf pile mounded in the middle of the yard. I would cover myself with leaves and hope my mother would not notice my incriminating actions. When she was gone I would run for the dock and continue fishing, until my father spotted me. Then I knew I was in for it.

    At four years old we moved to Alaska, right directly acrost from the Anchorage zoo. My family rented a house that brought me to what I thought was heaven. My father bought a small cc atv so I could explore the property. In the evening my father would hand me the key to the small atv and would say, "your on your own." Looking back on my experience this land seemed to travel to eternity. If I traveled long and hard enough I felt as if I could find the edge of the earth. Looking back on it to this day I find it absolutely amazing my father found enough trust in me to left me explore acres upon acres by myself on an atv at this age. I clearly remember my determination to travel as far from the house as possible. I was high centered on a small fallen tree and had to walk back to the house to retrieve my father for help. It seemed like miles.

    Soon after we moved to Eagle River and my father purchased a small boat. Often we would take trips to the Knik River and camp on one of Jim Creeks many forks. At the ages between 8 and 15 my dad would tell me to take the boat for a spin by myself. Regularly I would travel dozens of miles from camp by myself. My father had confidence that he taught me the proper actions if I was presented with a problem all by my lonesome. One particular instance stands out in my mind. Our boat had a problem with vibration and the ignition wire wiggling loose from the ignition box. At 17 years old I was traveling to the end of the Jim Creek swamps with my girlfriend at the time, it was just the two of us. This very same girl is now my wife and has been for a few years now. Anyways, at the end of the Jim Creek swamps we decided to have lunch. After lunch we loaded up and pushed off, there was obvious power to the control panel but there was no rotation of the motor. I located the problem to be with the ignition wire on the control panel. I pulled the soldiering iron from the tool box and a 6 inch section of soldering wire. I soldiered the wire to the panel and the boat fired up without problems. If my solution to the problem failed I made sure I packed paddles for such the occasion. If paddles unsuccessfully rowed us home I knew of two separate cabins within a few miles distance would could stay over night.

    All my life I have had the confidence to handle myself, ALONE, in the wilderness. I have practiced and carried large caliber pistols on my hip since I was long before legal age. I have camped, hunted, fished, and hiked many miles in the middle of no where by myself even before I was an adult. Still my father oozed the trust to let me venture into the unknown all alone. Even at 12 years old my father trusted me to float the head waters of Cambell Creek in a two man dingy he purchased for me at Pay-N-Save all the way to the Tudor Bridge. With my newly acquired driving license, at 16 years of age, my father trusted me with his airboat and truck that he spent many years saving so he could buy this boat of his dreams.

    Now I have been married to same girl I used to take out into the woods since we were in our early teens. She knows I am no stranger to isolated trips and she knows fully well that I have the knowledge, experience, and confidence to take trips by myself.

    Some may say that my father was careless, but, as I have preached to my good friend, he made me into the strong willed, confident, and self dependent person in the woods. Gun safety was stressed from the early get go and he taught me how to keep calm in a desperate situation.

    Ever since we married my wife will not let me venture for a hunt alone, and she continually insists I hunt with a friend. She is a good woman and she lets me go riding, fishing, hunting, hiking, or whatever it may be whenever I want as long as I have someone with me. She knows I am fully capable of handling myself, but the "what if's" get to her. There are many "what ifs" in life, what if I am T-boned by a reckless driving on my way to work or on my way home? What if I accidentally roll my truck in the dead of winter? Some may say this is a newly married couple problem, actually we have been married for a few years now. Basically, I want her to entrust me with the same confidence my father had in me. I want her to realize I am capable of handling myself, especially when problems arise. I know many problems can deveople, alone, in the woods, but there is associated risk with absoultely everything in life.

    Now, in the fresh stages of moose season I want to take a coyote hunt up to Knik by myself. With the begining of moose season much of my friends are off trying to glass their very own fifty incher, or three, maybe four brow tine moose. This year moose hunting had a slim chance for me so I hope to make up for it by calling for coyote. Shot down by the wife with a head cockced looked in my direction. I wish there was a way I could finally maker her realize there is not a bear lurking around every corner drooling over my scent or I will be ripping down the Jim Creek flats at an incredible rate of speed. Women............

  2. #2
    Member Ripface's Avatar
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    Default

    Just do it!
    "Wine can of their wits the wise beguile, Make the sage frolic, and the serious smile." - Homer, Odyssey

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    Moderator AKmud's Avatar
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    Wink The problem is not necessarily your wife....

    It is more likely because you are a father, provider, partner,.....basically everything to her and your daughter. My wife is the same way. After kids, the mentality changed. She recently told me that it scares her to death that I may go out hunting, snowmachining, whatever, and not come back (probably due to my own stupidity). She really does not want to raise 3 (soon to be 4) kids by herself...fatherless. It has taken me many years to realize that even though I know I will be fine, and more than likely nothing bad will happen on my little solo outings, it is priceless to take along a friend simply to satisfy her mind and put her at eaze while I'm gone.

    We have friends who have lost the male figure in the family (crashed his airplane and died) and my wife has watched his wife raise their four kids alone and has seen the struggles she deals with. I believe this scenario had a lot to do with how she views me heading out alone.

    Anyway, don't blame your wife or look down on her, she is simply being a good wife/mother and must enjoy your company otherwise she would encourage you go out alone!
    AKmud
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  4. #4

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ripface View Post
    Just do it!

    I consider myself to be an honest and loyal husband. If she says, "do not go." I stay home. I could easily say I am going hunting with someone but in reality I could not do it. That is not in me. I expect the same in return.

    Yes, I may be the father to her child, but, to me, the weird part is this was instated before we had a child.

  5. #5
    Member aktomboy's Avatar
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    Default Men do it 2

    Donít be thinking this is just a guy problem now, I have a godfather and a boy friend who doesnít like me doing out alone. I was born and raised here in Alaska and was in a baby backpack before I could walk hunting, fishing and trapping with my dad and my mom. My mom has no problem with me going out alone itís the males in my life who have a kanipshin (sp) fit. I have been doing this my dad passed away in 92 alone, but I have come to see that the reason they do it is just out of the love they have for me. Lucky that you have wife who doesnít care that you want to go hunting, fishing, or whatever. Think of all of those who have the one who complain about it and try to stop there men from going at all. Lucky are all of us who have family who supports us in our hunting adventures.

  6. #6
    Member PatrickH's Avatar
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    Default You know

    You already know what you are going to do. I appreciate your frustration because I have felt it myself many times. My wife does not like me going out by myself either. However she does accept that I will do it at times because I have no one else to go with. She does make sure my life insurance is paid up though! I may be worth more dead than alive.
    I will agree that it is a good idea to have a partner any time you get off the road. Stuff happens out there. Trees fall, rocks slide, moose decide to stomp you into the ground, medical emergencies come up. However I am not social enough to have a large enough pool of hunting buddies to always have a partner. Sometimes I just have to go by myself. Sometimes I like it better that way.
    Maybe she would feel better if you had a sat phone or EPIRB for emergencies. You could even call her from the boonies to tell her what a great time you are having.
    Above all you should apreciate having a spouse who wants you around for a long time.
    Good luck
    Patrick

  7. #7
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    Default

    It seems that you have not only a caring wife, but a smart one. Listen to her, and go hunting with a good friend. You do that not for yourself, but for your family. They are the ones who suffer the most if something happens to you.

  8. #8

    Default I also like hunting alone

    I am a husband and father of 4 children. It has changed my outlook. I know longer do the more risky things I used to do...can't anyway, I'm too old.

    But you should definetely change your outlook on hunting alone now that you are responsible for two other people.

    However, I think the suggestion of a sat phone and a plb may make up for hunting alone. As long as you make sure both are always with you and charged up. Why don't you try that suggestion.

  9. #9
    Member bushrat's Avatar
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    I married my high-school sweetheart. At some point in our long relationship (maybe fifteen years ago), we both decided that this "I'll let you" do it mentality was not consistent with what we wanted our marriage to be. If she wants to do something, she has my full support, though we certainly discuss it. And vice-versa.

    It is my personal opinion that neither partner should dictate to the other just what they can and can't do, within reason of course. When you say "she let's me" go riding etc, well to me that implies a level of control that I hope in future you can both do away with. Marriage is about love and letting your spouse fulfill their dreams and desires too. Too much of having to ask permission first in order to be "allowed" to do something entirely reasonable is going in future, if you allow it to continue, having you miss out on a lot of things that will make you a better (happier, fulfilled) person, and a better father and husband as well. And I think you'll end up resenting her for not allowing you to do what you truly want.

    My two cents, and nothing against your wife; she loves you and worries about you. Tis a good thing there. Maybe now in your marriage isn't the time to push the issue, but if I were you I'd certainly sit down and discuss it with your wife, why it's important for you to get out alone if that is the only option, what you gain from it, and that there are (as you said) inherent dangers in just driving to the grocery store and such. Maybe the sat phone is an option to argue too.

    Good luck,
    Mark

  10. #10
    New member reuben_j_cogburn's Avatar
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    Default the perfect woman

    I've read many posts here and I'm actually rather suprised how supportive many of your spouses seem to be regarding you doing the outdoor thing.

    Honestly I'm not sure how I would handle the "not going out alone" thing, but I just got out of a relationship that was very controlling, and for almost 8 months "my life" was pushed to the side. I didn't fire a gun or cast a rod in all that time. I was allowed to go outside to mow the lawn however!! (so it wasn't all bad!).....

    I do envy you guy's who have mates who let you not only enjoy your lifestyle but even participate with you....

    As for me I think I'll go it alone... Gettin to old to change anywhoo......


    ciao ya'll....

    reuben....

  11. #11
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    My wife usually let me do those things on my own. That was until last December when I had a heart attack. Now I can't go anywhere without somebody with me.

  12. #12
    Member fullkurl's Avatar
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    Smile its part of you.

    WGrem, thanks for sharing your post and the recount of your early start into the outdoor world. Many of us can relate to your stories.

    A couple of thoughts:
    We all know that some hunts are inherently dangerous--very dangerous. Hunting Peninsula bear SOLO is a poor idea for most--as in 97% of us.
    I'd personally go as far as saying goat and sheep solo can be too dangerous for most. Many on this forum would challenge that thinking with their successful hunts and posted trophies. There are lots of tough guys and gals out there.
    I personally think about a broken or badly sprained ankle or knee miles up the mountain. Anything can, and sometimes does happen. (Read Jeff Varvil's "Hell Hunt" sometime for a lesson in Murphy's Law.)
    Suffices to say your wife's worries could be well founded.
    HOWEVER.
    If you suspect the hunt your considering doesnt pose the risks of these tough endeavors, maybe you guys could talk about it--in depth. After all, it likely is the outdoor life thats makes you WHO YOU ARE. And thats the man she married.
    You arent desiring to head off for weeks in extreme conditions, you are simply taking short trips doing that which you love.
    At some point she needs to let you go do those things.
    Ultimately life is frought with danger if we want to dwell on it.

    Compromise can be a wonderful thing. But it takes giving and taking from both sides.

  13. #13

    Default Sometimes You just have to do it!

    My wife also is very protective of me and tries to find good hunting partners who can survive the rigors of my style of hunting.

    This year, I decided to take a long time friend sheep hunting. We got about
    nine miles in from the trail systems above tree line and were about 3 miles from the valley that I wanted to hunt. We dipped into about 2.5 miles of alders and he gave up the ghost. He honestly thought he would die out there. There was no trail and he felt that he would be unable to make it off of the trail. My sheephunting time is very precious. Needless to say, I thought about leaving him right there and going in.

    I thought about his wife. He might do something stupid and it would haunt me the rest of my life. I decided to come out with him.

    It was his view that the country was too advanced. I explained to him that all sheephunting is like that. It can be slightly easier if you have money or toys but we had neither.

    My wife has decided to just let me go. It is harder but I have the responsibility to survive and come back for her and my son. I won't let them down.

    I am going the same place this weekend and alders or not I will be up in the "Magic Kingdom" for a glorious week of worship of god's greatest gift to the "faithful".

  14. #14

    Default

    I should redefine my statemnt, "she lets me go." She does not nescessarily say, "ok I will let you go this time." I tell her my plans and as long as someone is going with me she never objects. I keep it within reason though, she likes when I spend time with her on the weekends. I would be willing to say our relationship has minimal control from the other. Last winter I went coyote hunting almost every weekend and she never objected once, I did weasel my way into one solo hunt. I have been required to hunt and fish with friends for a few years now. It is weird being alone, when before I enjoyed my own company.

    I did mention she let me go on one solo hunt. It was only a 7 hour long trip up on the Knik River, but this nifty little card was got me the pass. We both had a good laugh.
    Attached Images Attached Images

  15. #15
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    My wife hates it when I go out alone. I have a bad habit of when I see bear tracks, I follow them. sometimes the bears still in them sometimes not.

    So now shes my hunting partner (up until this year atleast), so she cant say anything.

    I have done some pretty stupid stuff in the past so I can see why she worries.

  16. #16
    Member Frankie 2 Times's Avatar
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    Default Women are just differnt and you're not going to change that fact!!!

    Gremlin,

    At the risk of sounding sappy, I'll give you my perspective on the situation. You have to remember that before you married your wife, while her heart may have belonged to you, her well being was taken care of by her parents and family. They saw to it that she was cared for and taken care of. You are her family now. Loving you aside, you are now the one she looks to for all the things her parent's use to provide. Its a big change and an even bigger responsiblity. Then though kids into the mix and you'll see what I mean, multiply that by ten.

    Consider yourself lucky that you have a woman that cares for you like she does and wants to make sure you're around for a long time. Women are just flat out different from men. Men will put things second in order to fufill their internal needs, like being outdoors. Women on the other hand will put those same internal needs (both yours and hers) aside and put family first. Women can't help it, its just the way the are. I won't claim to know or understand women. I just know what it takes to keep mine happy and keep my dumb arse out of trouble and in good graces. Not that I need to "get permission", but it helps if she is on your side.

    There was a study done a few years back that outlines the physical and mental changes a woman goes through after having eaten wedding cake. The study describes how their mental state and mood changes. It descirbes in detail the how their physical makeup keeps them from being able to perform certain physical functions.... I'd go on, but I think my wife is coming.

    Seriously, she's gonna worry about you. Mostly its for love and some for self perservation whether they admit it or not. The solution is easy. Offer to carry the sat phone or the personal locating devise. If that doesn't work, call a friend to go... If that doesn't work, call ME. I'll go with you.

    F2T

  17. #17
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    My wife dont mind me going alone because I really upped my life insurance. Not joking, but she knows I'm miserable if I don't go. So far this year has been a hunting nitemare, DCU sheep hunt was a wet bust. Spencer goat hunt so far been a bust cause boat motor problems(floated back out). Trips all alone cause i lost my hunting partner(wife wont let him go). So until my 12 year old get bigger and football season is no longer during hunting season, I'm on my own. I did a nice fly in moose hunt a couple years back and shot a nice 60"er. Thinking about going moose hunting next weekend by my self. My life is to short to not do anything, I just choose to make better choices and take less risk. If you need someone to asst who know nothing about coyote hunting drop me a line

    Terry from chugiak

  18. #18

    Default hunting solo

    Dude,
    I am going sheep hunting alone this next weekend since I struck out this weekend. So tell me this, you twist an ankle sheep hunting with a partner. What is your partner going to do for you? Carry you out? Good luck....
    Let's say you skid down a rock slide and cut your self up and your bleeding everywhere? Great, then your partner can watch you die.
    There isn't anything that a partner can do for you that a sat phone can't. If you really need help, be it a twisted ankle or a broken leg, the only thing that can really help is a ride in a helicopter.
    Other than that, it's likely that the most dangerous part of your trip will be driving there.

  19. #19
    Member Lone Wolf1's Avatar
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    Default Why not...

    Do what I do--take your wife along!! My wife and I hunt and fish together all the time. As a matter of fact, she's the only hunting partner I can see spending 15 days in a tent on Kodiak with. Based on your earlier comments, it sounds as though she's no stranger to the outdoors. Sooooo, why not ask her to go along? Obviously I don't know her work constraints (no time off) and/or other personal issues, but if she can break free, wives can make great "huntin' buddies". Of course, if you just want to be alone, then that's another story. Good luck and be safe.

  20. #20

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ak Steve View Post
    Dude,
    I am going sheep hunting alone this next weekend since I struck out this weekend. So tell me this, you twist an ankle sheep hunting with a partner. What is your partner going to do for you? Carry you out? Good luck....
    Let's say you skid down a rock slide and cut your self up and your bleeding everywhere? Great, then your partner can watch you die.
    There isn't anything that a partner can do for you that a sat phone can't. If you really need help, be it a twisted ankle or a broken leg, the only thing that can really help is a ride in a helicopter.
    Other than that, it's likely that the most dangerous part of your trip will be driving there.
    How about this scenario: You slip and fall, slicing your leg open and at the same time you hit your head on a rock, knocking you unconcious. Without a partner to stop the bleeding you will bleed to death, without a partner to call for help, you will bleed to death. Another one: Your attacked my a bear while hunting, without a partner to shoot the bear, chances are good you will not survive the attack or it destroys the sat phone that was in your pack. Having a good hunting partner is not all bad. I have found over the years that finding a good reliable hunting partner that you can get along with is much harder then finding a wife. Sometimes it takes years, sometimes it takes less than an hour and i'm still looking for the right one.

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