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Thread: My best thinkin!

  1. #1

    Default My best thinkin!

    About a week ago old EKC hit the big five-0. Now that didn't phase me much however the Mrs who can quote crap out of "The Family Medical Journal" as well as most of us can recite load data went on red alert. She had colon cancer fresh on the brain so that was automaticly the next thing old EKC was fixen to git! Any of you ever done one of them there colon cleanse deals? Me neither. Mother insisted and she were'nt gonna have it no other way. I said I ain't doin it and there ain't no way yer gonna make me. So any ways about an hour after I ate them three horse pills and drank that half gallon of water things started to happen. My normal routine under less stressful situations is to head to my throne in the basement where stacked on both sides of the pot within arms reach are hundreds of shooting magazines, catalogs from Brownells, Cabela's, Midway USA, several loading manuals and even a copy of "Hell I Was There" by Elmer Keith himself.

    On this particular occasion the rumble in my gut hit like a Kansas tornado and I knew there weren't no gittin to the basement in time. So I beat feet for mothers powder room at the end of the hall, undoing my britches on the way. Once inside I plunked down on her pristine little orvature(made that word up) and......nothing. The pressure was still there so there was no likely hood of transplanting to the basement. So there I was stranded in what smelled like a cat house ready room surrounded by womens magazines that had feminine product adds on every page. One even had a picture of Ophra's ugly mug on it and from my angle it looked like she was staring at me. I was tempted to show her my backside but ended just laying the magazine face down on the floor, like that would actually smother her.

    What now? I knew I could be there for hours so I put my elbows on my knees and rested my jaw in my hands and prepared for the long haul. Ya know kinda like when your sitting on stand and there ain't much happening or when the guest preacher at church is coming off a 6 month dry spell and he's on his third go-around of sayin the same thing. You gotta come up with something to occupy your mind! So off into la la land I went (I'm bettin that I ain't the only one that does my best thinkin when on the pot).

    My thoughts went to which of my rifles are the most relevant to all hunting needs on this continent. Should it be a three, four or five rifle battery. Right off I knew my two favorite rifles wouldn't make the cut. A 1894 in 44 mag and a Remington 514 in 22 were designed to be shot with open sights. Thats fine and dandy except for the fact that my eyes will not focus well enough to make the front and rear sights work together anymore, thus these two guns that have been with me since my boyhood are out of the running. They will now become keepsakes for my one and only son.

    My contemplating resulted in the following 5 rifle battery. First I chose to go with my Ruger 77 in 17 Hmr(Weaver K6 fine crosshair) for the small stuff. I know they are a little loud for in town cat work so I'll just wear ear plugs! Smile! Squirrel hunting is a passion of mine and nothing fills that nitch better than the 17 Hmr. Second would be my Ruger mini 14 ( Universal 4X fine crosshair) in of course 223. I love to put on the whites after a new snowfall and pick up a set of fresh coyote tracks and walk him out and fire away when he jumps! Third, my new in 1977 Ruger 77 in 243(Redfield 3x9x40). It works great for sniping coyotes that are spotted all curled up fast asleep on a distant snow drift. This would also be my small deer gun...up to whitetails. Fourth my Bruno 98 30-06(Redfield 4X) would handle almost anything else that the lower 48 has to offer with the exception being bison. Finally rifle number 5 is my old tang safety Ruger 77 in 338 winchester mag (Redfield 1 3/4x 5) for stuff that would have a tendency to eat or stomp me.

    About now is where I snapped back to reality and realized that there hadn't been any blood flow to my legs for nigh onto a half hour but then mommas crapper ain't equipped with one of them cushy mossy oak camo toilet seats like mine.

  2. #2

    Talking Wow!

    That was a very dramatic and touching story... Almost had me in tears. I think that may have been because I was laughing so hard I was almost crying. In any case, that does sound like a fairly legitimate five-rifle battery. I'm not sure what I'd narrow my choices down to if I were to eliminate all but five. I guess maybe I'll have to ponder that the next time I'm "hung up" without any reading material...
    NRA Life Member, Prior F-16 crew chief.

  3. #3

    Default Under- equipped

    For those extended stays in the library; nothing kills time like " To Hell and Back".
    " Americans will never need the 2nd Amendment, until the government tries to take it away."

    On the road of life..... Pot holes keep things interesting !

  4. #4

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    Enjoyed the story, brought back some memories of when I turned 50 and studied for the same test. We were building a new house and living on the site in an RV. Did not want to fumigate the RV so I used the porta potty we had for the workers. Read my hunting mags out there by flashlight! There were serious 44 Mag things going on!

  5. #5
    Member Alangaq's Avatar
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    Default

    I feel your pain brother. I too have a multi-toilet household, although I am fortunate enough that neither is truly dedicated to one particular gender. The less desirable of these two “libraries” shares space with the washer and dryer which can either enhance the experience by providing massage chair like vibrations when the washing machine is out of balance, or conversely, detract significantly by roasting you like a chicken when the dryer is going full blast. It’s a “crap shoot” so to speak………….. But in keeping with the Boy scout motto, I have been permitted to maintain a well stocked library in both bathrooms. Unfortunately one of which had to be discarded due to poor aiming technique whilst potty training the boys, leaving only the most treasured of fire arm reading material safely stashed below the sink.

    I think it safe to say, that all truly great thinking must take place in solitude where one can concentrate uninterrupted on the matter at hand………………what better place than the throne?!
    “You’ve gotten soft. You’re like one of those police dogs who’s released in to the wild and gets eaten by a deer or something.” Bill McNeal of News Radio

  6. #6

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    I believe the phrase is. "I do my best thinkin' when I'm stinkin'." I confess to be so afflicted. When I turned 50 they didn't offer me the opportunity to pose my innards for the camera, but a sudden stop after a 20 ft. drop and a 2 cm kidney stone got me a couple of dates with a cystoscope. I reckon those things are at least 50 cal. It's a lot easier to prep for one of those, even if they are unnatural. A good dose of reading Old Elmer, or Jack, or Murphy goes a long toward taking your mind off what's to come or what has passed.

    My three rifle battery would be a 223, a 30-06, and 338 WM. For a five I'd add a 270 Win and a 375 H&H. There isn't a whole lot you couldn't hunt efficiently with those. I had to put a 270 in the second group so that I'd have a proper varmint rifle.

  7. #7

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    That was really a funny story and you wrote it well especially how you described your wifes bath room and the reading material. It would be like being in prison if I had to stay in my wifes bathroom considering the reading material. 22LR, 22-250, 240Wby, 300Wby, .375Wby would be my choice of battery.
    A GUN WRITER NEEDS:
    THE MIND OF A SCHOLAR
    THE HEART OF A CHILD
    THE HIDE OF A RHINOCEROS

  8. #8
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    elmerkeithclone:

    I hesitate to question someone, so inspired as you were at the time, but I wonder....

    How could an Elmer Keith Clone, choose a 17 HMR, 223, or even a 243? I doubt he'd have much faith in any of those.

    You see, every shot is not picture book broadside. You need something that on raking shots will still make it into the boiler room.

    Smitty of the North
    Walk Slow, and Drink a Lotta Water.
    Has it ever occurred to you, that Nothing ever occurs to God? Adrien Rodgers.
    You can't out-give God.

  9. #9

    Default LOL

    Quote Originally Posted by Smitty of the North View Post
    elmerkeithclone:

    How could an Elmer Keith Clone, choose a 17 HMR, 223, or even a 243? I doubt he'd have much faith in any of those.

    You see, every shot is not picture book broadside. You need something that on raking shots will still make it into the boiler room.

    Smitty of the North
    I can see a squirrel hunter worried about a raking shot with a 17 HMR. Or a getting inadequate penetration on a running coyote with a 223; hitting them is the problem not penetration. For varmints you need a varmint rifle not a 333 OKH, and a 243 should fill the bill as well as being a lite deer rifle.
    But if the squirrels get real aggressive or the deer start attacking, He could start using his 338 Win Mag, that'll show'em.
    " Americans will never need the 2nd Amendment, until the government tries to take it away."

    On the road of life..... Pot holes keep things interesting !

  10. #10

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    Smitty, Do ya recon that O'Neil, Keith and Hopkins would have settled for nothing less than the 333 OKH for vermin?

    Old Elmer was big into frontal area/mass and his philosophies locked horns with the likes of Jack O'Connor, Roy Wizzbee, Warren Page, Fred Huntington, J.E.Gebby and the rest of the speed freak shooting fraternity. However they had their place too.

    Why EKC? My Grandpa Roy was the biggest Elmer Keith fan that ever walked. You could not talk about guns, shooting or hunting without him bringing up Elmer. He even had the same attitude as Elmer in that everyone with in a 30 mile radius of Ionia Iowa new better than to get cross ways with Gramps. Grandpa mellowed a little in his later years and he could actually go into the tavern for a drink without half the crowd leaving. His drinking cronies tagged him with the handle "Elmer".

    When I was a jr in high school there was a senior who was the supreme athlete of the school he stared in every sport. He also had an ego bigger than Alaska and he thought that he owned the school. He butted in the lunch line and there was an altercation. Long story short I got suspended for 3 days and they had to find a new quarterback for the season opener the following night! Grandpas buddies got wind of it and started calling me little Elmer. I hadn't heard that for about 20 years but a couple of years ago just prior to joining this forum my my uncle called me Elmer at a family rebellion so it was fresh on my mind....and now you know the rest of the story!

    I suspect that grandpa (and Elmer) rolled over in their graves the day I went to Missouri deer hunting and for the first time left the 1894 44mag home and took a #^$*%@ 270 with me!

  11. #11

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    As they say in the Air Force...*Speed is life...*

  12. #12

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    Hmmmm.... wonder where ekc studied for exams???

  13. #13
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    EKC:
    OK, That is a plausible explanation that I can understand. It's the reason I call myself "Smitty". Everyone else did, and I couldn't fight it. Even my wife calls me "Smitty". (Most of the time)

    Still, using those "needle bullets" seems to be a bit disloyal to your nickname

    Wouldn't a 338 loaded with 180 grain bullets, at 2700 fps make a fine deer load? One that Ole Elmer would approve?

    Smitty of the North
    Walk Slow, and Drink a Lotta Water.
    Has it ever occurred to you, that Nothing ever occurs to God? Adrien Rodgers.
    You can't out-give God.

  14. #14

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    Smitty,

    IIRC Elmer used a .338 -.378 WBY with 250 Game Kings for antelope. I'm not sure that he'd approve of anything less than a 225 TSX if he was still around and even then I'd be willing to bet a nickel that he'd be raging about how it was a mortal sin to have discontinued the Barnes Originals in favor of a bullet that was too long, and had to be shot too fast to expand reliably.

  15. #15

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    Actually I can't remember ever trying to shoot a squirrel anywhere but the head. Sometimes the front half of the squirrel got messed up but I never took any raking shots!

    As for the coyotes, around these parts they go down pretty easy. I have a Stevens 200 in 223 that bounces around behind the seat in my truck. I killed eight coyotes with it last year without a problem. In fact I can remember only one coyote in recent years that I know I hit that got away. That one was 300 yards out going straight away and I hit him right where his tail hooks on and that was with a 32 grain bullet out of a 204 Ruger. Sure made the hair fly anyway!

    Here in Iowa for the most part we have a road every mile north and south and east and west. This means the land is divided off into one square mile sections and we average 6 or seven house per square mile. Couple this with the fact that we circle hunt with as many as eight guys so the last thing we need is bullets skipping off the frozen ground. So frangible bullets in light calibers are a must. Nobody in the group shoots anything larger than 224 caliber.

    Another thing about hunting in this country that I'll throw in is the wind. The lay of the land is extremely flat and we often hunt in a steady 20 -40 mile an hour wind. You have to be in constant awareness in regards to this. Is the coyote running headlong into that wind or is he running with the wind. It makes one heck of a lot of difference as to how far you lead one at say a couple hundred yards. That wind drift has spared many a coyote over the years.

    Smitty if I were hunting coyotes in your neck of the woods I'd be using a 25-06 or a 257 Weatherby!

  16. #16
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    EKC:

    Well, I have a 280 Rem. and a 7mm Weatherby. I'll give it some thought, but the problem for me would be finding the coyotes.

    Thanks
    Smitty of the North
    Walk Slow, and Drink a Lotta Water.
    Has it ever occurred to you, that Nothing ever occurs to God? Adrien Rodgers.
    You can't out-give God.

  17. #17

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    Finding them isn't a problem here. A few years ago our group killed 119 on the year and one particular Sunday morning we had 9 killed before noon.

    We killed around 50 last year. Our hunting time was cut in half because of the gas prices. $50/day x 8 trucks! We don't hate the coyotes that bad!

  18. #18
    Member Darreld Walton's Avatar
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    Default Elmer Keith?....

    Friend of mine in Great Falls who had started gunsmithing in his basement shortly after 'The Big One' had a passion for things Winchester and Colt. Said he was headed over to the Fall Missoula Gun Show and did me an' Jim wanna go? He had to make a stop at the bank downtown to get 'something' out of his safe deposit box. When he came out, he had a tooled leather El Paso two gun rig and inside the holsters was a set of factory engraved, nickel finished, ivory handled Peacemakers.
    When we got over to Missoula, and headed inside the field house, Kurt says "Watch This" and heads for this enormous Stetson floating in a herd of people. Kurt casually walks by the Stetson with that rig over his shoulder (the purpose of the pistolas was to swap 'em for a precious little 1873 takedown .22 Winchester).....that Stetson followed and hounded Kurt for nigh onto 40 minutes pesterin' him to sell 'em.
    I, mesself pretty much follered the preachin' and teachings of Mr. O'Connor, and loved the verbal battles that went on between those two, but these days, packin' that new .500 carbine, it's mighty comfortin' to know that just like Elmer, at the end of the day, all I've gotta do is fling out my bedroll and spend the night in the bore of that rifle if I'm a needin' to..........
    Oh, and as to terlets.....I went so far as to hide a couple of issues of American Rifleman in the heater duct in the Mrs.' room. They musta smelled like #9, 'cuz she ferreted them out, and pitched 'em like a couple of dogeared Playboys!

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