So What should have been an epic weekend turns into absolute disaster. I think I have lost my mind....
I hate drama...but here's my report...in drama format...
My name is Rudy. Many of you know me as KardinaL_84 on the forums. I have a confession to make. I type this sitting in a small room with all of the lights shut off. Depressed beyond belief, I agonize over what should have been heaven on earth this weekend. Instead of heaven, I ended up in hell. Fortunately during Alaska Summers, the small room isn’t at least dark and dreary with the long daylight hours...but my soul is.
I’ve heard “it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” I used to think, “Well duh!.” But today I type with a heavy heart reconsidering that and now I know why its actually a well known statement. I am starting to think the pain is too much to go through something like this again.
So here’s my story…details the best I remember. 99% non-fiction...well let's say most, at least 51%...
ACT I: In the beginning...
So the story really starts a few weeks ago. reading through one of my kayak forms, I see that they have a “Barbie rod classic.” Ahhh...Barbie. I had sort of met her once through people who knew her ex, “Snoopy”, the namesake of the Snoopy Rod Classic in Western Washington. I recall walking by her thinking “Wow...she is PURDY!” Then I swore I heard her say in a slightly drunken but sexy voice “That Ken is so passe.” “YES he is! But I’m NOT!” I thought in my head...
Years go by, and as I was walking through a sporting good store here in town...THERE SHE WAS!. Hot dang!!!!! I stand next to her sneaking glances hoping nobody would notice. It’d be SUPER embarrassing if any of my friends knew I was trying to make a really bold move.
I reach out and touch her. I swear, though my memory is hazy, I hear “Hey! Mr Fisherman! Long time no see! Take me fishing!”
Are you kidding?!?!?! Heck ya!!!! Quickly go through the formalities, a little embarrassed to be seen with such a beautiful item...at least I thought so. The cashier looks at me like I am nuts as I walk out with her in my arm. I can’t wait to take her home and “unwrap” her!!!!!. I fumble around. Dang this is harder than taking a bra off a gal for the first time! They sure make these dang outer packaging hard to remove. I slowly examine her and say out loud “Sweetie, I have to change your line out to 20lbs powerpro. Its ok, its allowed by the rules at some of the better known tournament hangouts.”
I usually don’t take strangers out fishing. especially ones I want to impress. Fishing is always fun. But catching is never guaranteed. My kids are overseas in Japan. My girlfriend takes off to New York on one days notice saying something like I’ll be back in 5 weeks. Last time that 5 weeks turned into 5 months. Haven’t gotten a call from her in over a week. Hmmmm...something not right. Too bad for her, she should know that "Hard times and idle hands are the devil's workshop…."
C’mon Babe..errr Barbie! Let’s go fish!!!
Act II - Prepare to fish!!!!
It’s Saturday of Memorial weekend. I’m so excited I can’t sleep Friday night and I drive down to Whiskey Gulch getting there at about 4am. Sleep a few hours and it’s time to hit the water!!!!
Barbie is looking F-I-N-E, FINE!!!!. She feels SO good to the touch. Not like any of the others I take fishing with me. That shine, light weight. The perfect feel in my hands. She has that sort of inexpensive but super HOT look. At $14.99 not only is she a hoot to fish with, she is WAY cheaper of a date than my other fav gal, Avet.
Unlike with Avet, I know fishing with Barbie, I am at a major disadvantage...or so I thought. I didn’t want to stress her with a flasher so she gets paired with a 2oz sinker and green label herring.
Being Memorial Weekend, the boats are out in force. You can see they are hooking up pretty consistently. I fish with Barbie, but maneuver around with Barbie tucked under my arm hoping nobody notices her. I know these fisherman can be cruel. They’d laugh at me for fishing with her, but as soon as they saw what she can do. If they knew what she has on the INSIDE as well as the ultra hot exterior...they’d try to steal her away in a heart beat.
So I slowly let line out. Barbie is a little shorter than my type. I typically like them about 6ft. Barbie was only 30 inches. A serious disadvantage.
Oh, wait. No wonder I am still single. Where are my manners?? I haven’t yet introduced you to Barbie. So here she is. Tell me you don’t have some immature thoughts of just grabbing her while fishing! I think I am in LOVE!!!