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Thread: Hunting bloopers 2013

  1. #1
    Member mainer_in_ak's Avatar
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    Default Hunting bloopers 2013

    I'll start his one, since there's no snow to run my "ingnant" malamutes with dah sled.

    One day this past hunting season, I woke up, popped out of the tent, and went right to the coleman stove to make coffee. I was cold, and the head felt heavy/sluggish. After the pot of coffee was made, I proceeded to pour some canned milk into my cup. It wouldn't come out the can! So....... I put my lips round the hole I cut in the can with a knife. I began sucking on the can, hoping to free the clog. All of the sudden, the obstruction cleared. About a dozen nasty az z blowflies were all up in mah mouth! I swallowed half of them, and proceeded to spit out the rest of them on the rocks. I thought I was going to be sick as I saw the blowflies all drenched in milk, squirming around on the river rocks.

    eeeewwwwwww!

  2. #2
    Member skybust's Avatar
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    Now thats funny as hell
    Is it opening day of duck season yet
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    Member mjm316's Avatar
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    ​That sir is NASTY!!!
    Tomorrow isn't promised. "Never delay kissing a pretty girl or opening a bottle of whiskey." E. Hemingway

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    That will wake you up

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    Member Smokey's Avatar
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    Way NASTY Mainer, yuk!
    A co-worker and myself flew into a remote Ontario lake to fish and scout moose one week after 911 happened, and after the float plane left we discovered we left one bag in our vehicle that had our coffee, sweeteners, hot chocolate, matches and a few other comforts in it! The pilot was running hard trying to get caught up after all the planes had been grounded all week and pushed us to fly in as soon as we arrived. We luckily found a very few matches in the cabin that others had left so we had heat and kept coals burning to re-light from. It was a long week not knowing what was happening in the world at that time for sure...
    When asked what state I live in I say "The State of Confusion", better known as IL....

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    Member mainer_in_ak's Avatar
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    ouch, smokey! no coffee for how long? The second I noticed the bush plane took off with all my coffee (screw the matches), I would've fell to the ground, unable to move, or walk.

  7. #7
    Member Smokey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mainer_in_ak View Post
    ouch, smokey! no coffee for how long? The second I noticed the bush plane took off with all my coffee (screw the matches), I would've fell to the ground, unable to move, or walk.
    6 looong days and do you know how dull pancakes are to eat without syrup? However the walleyes were hitting unbelievably well and yummy!
    When asked what state I live in I say "The State of Confusion", better known as IL....

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    Member Mkay's Avatar
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    Confirm your rifle's zero after heavy turbulence enroute to your area. Otherwise the Nosler you thought was heading to the moose's lungs might wind up in the rump. A 1/4 mile kill away from camp turned into a 3 mile hike up a hill.
    My child was inmate of the month at Mat-Su pre-trial Correctional facility.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mkay View Post
    Confirm your rifle's zero after heavy turbulence enroute to your area. Otherwise the Nosler you thought was heading to the moose's lungs might wind up in the rump. A 1/4 mile kill away from camp turned into a 3 mile hike up a hill.
    Just a quick serious comment.... a good tool to bring is a bore sighter. Us it when you finish at the range to see where it should be reading on that rifle, then bring it with you on the hunt. If you have reason to think something might have moved, hook it up and double check without having to fire any shots. Not perfect, but will tell you if anything got bumped off noticeably.

    Now, back to the humor....

  10. #10
    Member akiceman25's Avatar
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    On the 6th evening of my 10 day moose hunt my wife and I were en route back to camp on our ATV's just prior to the end of shooting light. I see I spot on the trail ahead and bring my machine to a stop. I gesture to my wife that I think its a moose so I pull out my spotter and have a look.

    Sure enough, it's a moose and better yet it's a small bull appearing to be a spike/fork.

    Heart starts pounding.. I whisper to the wife ''spike fork!'' I then tell her my plan. ''I'm gonna drive up to about 500 yards, grab my rifle and stalk up on it.''

    I put my plan into action and things are going as anticipated. Its now getting quite dark out. Walking slowly down the very side of the trail to mask my outline I'm walking as quickly yet quietly as possible.

    400 yards.. 300 yards.. I get to approximately 250 and the bull walks off the trail. No worries.. although I cannot see him I know he's still there.

    200 yards.. my walk slows and I'm trying hard to see him while my heart is pounding outta my chest.

    I know this is my bull. Its so gonna happen!

    150 yards.. I'm ready to pull up as soon as I see him to determine it is in fact a legal bull and pull the trigger.

    All of a sudden.... BANG!!!!!!

    Another gentleman was stalking him from the other direction and got to him first!

    Instantly I break out in laughter! This is just wayyyy too ironic for me to believe!

    Turns out it was a fork with a small paddle. I congratulated the hunter, snapped a pic of his moose and laughed all the way back to camp.

    Good times!



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    Member Frostbitten's Avatar
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    Did a fly-in hunt with my dad and brother for Mulchatna caribou. We were weather delayed getting out of Kenai, so once the fog cleared, it was a scramble to get all the gear from the truck into the plane. We flew for almost 5 hours till we put down on a small lake. We quickly unloaded all the gear into a pile on the shore, then shuttled it up the bank a load at a time. We were starving, as it had been a long time since breakfast, so we went ahead and filtered a few gallons of water, then cooked up some dinner before setting up camp. After dinner, we set up the tent and organized all the gear, only to realize that we only had two sleeping bags for three guys. CRAP! We figured the other bag somehow got left on the otter and when the pilot noticed, he'd drop it off the next day. Well, we didn't see our pilot for 7 days, so we took turns spending cold nights trying to sleep without a bag. As it turned out, the bag wasn't left in the plane, it was in the back seat of the truck.

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    Member tlingitwarrior's Avatar
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    Before my lasik surgery, I forgot to bring saline solution for my contacts. 10 days of pure hell, took 20 minutes every morning to get some natural moisture on the eyes. Have forgotten a toothbrush, but that's not a must have as brushing teeth with 100 grit sand paper works!
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    WEEELLLLL I did the ol' classic cut to fast and deep on a drum tight caibou this last season. Wasn't even thinking about it as my face was about a foot from the belly when he blew! Funny as I knew the mega second I made the slice I actually tried to flinch and stand up away but that thing blew so hard it nailed and COVERED my face and upper body. The explosion actually forced me upward and made me sit down real hard on a tussic. So picture me sitting on a hump, knife in hand and COVERED with %^$&! The best part is that I had my friends little boys there with me and they laughed so hard at me they were crying. Oh and they have brought it up more then a few times since..

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    Ha! that is the kind of smell you don't easily forget.

    I was on my backpack elk hunt this year and really screwed up with my dinner. I boiled some water then poured it into a bag of MH chicken alfredo and proceeded to nestle the closed bag into the inside of my sleeping bag to keep it warm since it was cold outside, as I was doing it I thought to myself "don't forget" I stepped back out of the tent and thought shoot my hat fell off in the tent, within 30 seconds I had turned around and dove into the tent to get the hat and heard a small explosion under my knee! I opened up the sleeping bag and it had blown all over the whole inside of the bag at the head end, I couldn't believe how much coverage there was. I had no time to get upset about it I had to get after cleaning it up which took a while. the funny part was that I had made my bed and now I had to lye in it!

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    A couple years ago was a very hot hunting season with clear skies and temps in the 70's. We were float hunting a river for moose and were a few days from the take-out. So, one night during dinner we decide that we should postpone shooting anything before noon, so the meat wouldn't spoil during the hot day. The next morning we all left our guns at our tents as we made breakfast and talked about how ethical our decision was, when all of a sudden two bulls step out of the brush 20yds from camp. We all looked at each other with a shocked expression wondering what to do. Well, of course we all ran for our guns! This spooked the bulls, so I made a quick grunt, which stopped them as a friend reached his gun and shot one of the bulls.

    Two of us spent a frantic few hours quartering the bull while the other built shade with a tarp. As we took the quarters off, we soaked them in the cool river water wrapped in a large plastic bag. We then hung the meat in the shade. We spent the next few days rowing as fast as we could to get the meat to the take-out. Due to our efforts, we had no spoilage, just a thicker rind than normal. My palms were sore for a week from rowing so hard.

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    This year, sheep hunt. Dropped by plane then walked about 12 miles. Day 2, beautiful weather. Finally up high, find a place to pitch the tent. Partner says "You aren't going to like what I'm about to tell you." What could possibly be bad? We had a great camp the night before...
    Partner says "The tent poles, which I had lashed to the outside of my bag, are gone." Nope, didn't like that at all.
    After a day of alder bushwacking and 5000 stream crossings, we knew they were gone. At the last minute I had brought my bivy Sil, so at least we had something, and the weather was nice...
    Needless to say it rained, and often rained sideways, the rest of the trip. We did get a sheep, and my partner got a new set of tent poles for Christmas. Never forget that one!

  17. #17
    Charterboat Operator Abel's Avatar
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    First one took place in Smeatons Bay down by Ketchikan by boat for a 4 day hunt. After hunting all day (mid Sept) he takes a nice looking brownie that afternoon on day 1. Hiking back to the raft late in the evening we turn the last corner and the raft is flat "AH &^^%$$, bear ate our raft man!!!!" He's hoping it just deflated all on its own, it didn't, I'm stripping and preparing to swim for it. Boat is 100yds of 45deg water away and it's getting dark fast. I'm preparing to swim it as he throws the raft in the water, the plywood floor has just enough surface area to keep me dry. So here I am, in my underwear, floating on a flat raft in the dark hoping it stays afloat long enough for me to get to the boat. I actually made it, found out later my bud was freaking out as he's not a great swimmer and couldn’t see me in the dark and had no idea if I made it until I fired the motorup.

    Later that season, duck hunting 25 miles from town I find out my dog is scared of gunfire, the hard way. He's been fine with rifles, but shotgun, nope. So he disappears into the woods. Spend all night looking for him till tide lets me leave the cove. Come back the next day and try to hike to the logging roads about 2 miles behind where we were, nope, not gonna happen. So I get back to the beach (I wasn't planning on being back to soon) tide has come in and it's getting dark. Raft is tied to a log, that is now under 5' of water. So here I am, in my draws again, in 39deg water (ya, I know, at least it wasn’t flat this time) trying to get to the raft. Get the raft back to the beach, get my dry cloths back on and back to the boat. Next morning head back to town, this plan if full proof!!! Grab myfriends kids 90cc dirt bike, load it up, run to other bay where the logging dock is and ride the roads. Get to the dock the next day, walk around, sweet, a truck, ya no keys...Yell for my pup, nothing, go back to boat, unload the bike and put canvas on the boat. Look up and he's standing at the top of the dock like it's a frickin bus stop. Covered in anti-freeze and oil. He'd dug a hole under a shovel and spent 3 days there chillin out till someone showed up.
    Last edited by Abel; 01-30-2014 at 11:50. Reason: I can't type

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    Member Smokey's Avatar
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    Abel your story sparked a long forgotten memory. I took a big female lab on a goose hunt one day - her first waterfowl hunt - and I had made a quick blind using some pallets. This was on a small farm pond about 5 acres in size and the geese went there often. So before daylight we crawl into the blind through tall grass as some geese are already on the pond less than 100 yards away. Now to keep my dog still I tied a leash to my belt and at first light the birds lifted off to go feed and came right at us! Bang went the first shot then bang I went as the lab jumped over the pallet that was on edge and went for the falling bird - unfortunately we were still hooked up and I went over faster than you can say &%#@, right into a muddy flat!
    When asked what state I live in I say "The State of Confusion", better known as IL....

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    Member Roland on the River's Avatar
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    This didn't happen in 2013 but still funny. Back in time a couple friends drew a spring Kodiak Bear permit. They invited me for this short hunt.
    They figured the meals real close with nothing to spare. Certainly not the way I plan things. Anyway, the day of pickup arrives and we have a pancake breakfast with the last of the syrup. Blue bird weather. Planes flying everywhere (spotting herring ). Our plane never shows. Supper, pancakes and KETCHUP. Breakfast, more pancakes with KETCHUP. Skip lunch. More blue bird sky. This goes on until we flag down a boat on the 5th day who radio Kodiak and a plane arrives and picks us up. We contact the pilots wife and are told "he intended on getting you guys tomorrow, he's been busy spotting herring " Took me a long time to eat pancakes again, and never with ketchup.

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    Moose hunting a couple years ago I got some thing in my eye and went to rinse it out grabbed my water bottle and dumped some water in my eye only it wasn't my water bottle it was the water I had been mixing emergen-c in. The other bottle was still in my pack. Talk about burning I stopped using stainless and aluminum bottles after that.

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