A Marmot for a Varmint
Up until recently, I'd never seen any marmot in my immediate vicinity... Until I was returning to the kitchen from my freezer room, and, out of my right eye's peripheral view, spotted what looked like a post-***ushima red squirrel, perched at the edge of one of my otherwise excellent and healthy raised globe beet beds.. Looking more plump than a self-employed marmot ought to appear to look, even in the summer. In fact, when I crept out onto the upper deck to try to remove the arctic rodent menace from my garden by means of my older son's antique Remington model 33 single-shot .22 lr, I noted two things; he waddles rather than runs, obviously due to the fine style of comfort he's grown accustomed to, and he is -WAY- more wary than the average marmot.. Which I should add again, typically DOESN'T appear in my immediate area!!.. Anyway, a couple days later, I clipped him, and I don't see any immediate evidence that he's returned yet.. His total damage thus far includes having thoroughly clipped my wife's parsley, one WHOLE cauliflower, a whole BUNCH of beet greens (which we usually either eat in salads or sauté' or stir-fry with other veggies, and a fair amount of carrot greens. Looks like moose aren't my only nemesis any more in the garden months. A trapper friend thinks that the size, unusual location, and demeanor of the critter may indicate that someone brought the lil' bugger back into civilization as a potential pet, then either released it, or otherwise allowed it to escape. Either way, I now feel a bit like Bill Murray in Caddy Shack, with an arctic gopher on the other end of my night scope... Claymores? ;^>)
..."Hello, Mr. Gopher! It's me, Mr. Squirrel. Just a harmless squirrel. Not a plastic explosive or anything. Nothing to be worried about...."
- Carl Spackler