Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Bear Protection Handgun for a Space Alien

  1. #1
    Premium Member MarineHawk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    1,940

    Default Bear Protection Handgun for a Space Alien

    To be clear, I am not posting this thread on behalf of smallish green space aliens who have invaded my home and are holding me hostage and making me write this question. But hypothetically speaking, we, I mean I, nevertheless would like to know what would be a good handgun for bear defense for hypothetical, nonexistent space aliens (who donít exist and arenít making me write this thread) who weigh around 140 lbs, have mostly human-like physical features, don't like excessive recoil, and who will not be wandering around the wilderness looking for humans and bears they could replicate to take over the planet from within?

    Just wondering academically about this completely nonexistent possibility.

    Note that I have checked the bear-protection threads and this one particular situation has not been discussed.

    Hope Everyone you Like is Perfect today.

    Best to you all.

  2. #2
    Member AKsoldier's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Wasilla
    Posts
    1,555

    Default

    Obviously, the "Noisy Crickett" would be the best choice. Extremely small, concealable and yet - makes a BIG boom. ;-) You got an un-armed alien infestation or something?

    The other 299,300,000 people can have it.

    Noone has a more intimate understanding of, or deeper appreciation for freedom, than a soldier who has fought for it in a country where it does not exist.

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Wasilla
    Posts
    515

    Default

    The Aliens I have run across in the field have all been using invisability cloaks so bears can't see or smell them. They had to do this because they had run out of 44 special ammo for their 44 mags while defending their spaceship from the little green people eaters. You want to pass me that bottle of shine, getting thisty here.

  4. #4
    Member TWB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Wasilla
    Posts
    3,573

    Default

    Aliens invented the search button.
    We do not go to the green woods and crystal waters to rough it, we go to smooth it. We get it rough enough at home; in towns and cities; in shops, offices, stores, banks anywhere that we may be placed

  5. #5
    Supporting Member iofthetaiga's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Tanana Valley AK
    Posts
    7,217

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TWB View Post
    Aliens invented the search button.
    Using the search button is an alien concept to many.
    ...he who knows nothing is nearer to truth than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods & errors. ~Thomas Jefferson
    I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief. ~Gerry Spence
    The last thing Alaska needs is another bigot. ~member Catch It
    #Resist

  6. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Eureka MT
    Posts
    3,048

    Default

    You folks apparently aren't aware of Marvin the Martian and his "PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator" cause that's the only handgun that any self respecting space alien would use.

  7. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Eureka MT
    Posts
    3,048

    Default

    After further research it appears he also had an acme disintergrating ray pistol as well as the Illudium pu-36 explosive space modulator. However it is unknown wheather the disintergrating ray pistol would be adequate protection against a large charging brown bear as there are no records of it ever being used against bears.

  8. #8
    Member Ak Bird Brain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Sterling, AK
    Posts
    359

    Default

    Id suggest a good old fashioned .22 as the best bear defense. But it really depends on the Aliens in question..... If these are the guys I met from Alpha-Sintare they don"t have knee caps so the old shoot your partner in the knee so you can escape the bear at a leisurely pace wont work.... Perhaps they could try a good bear/alien translator and communicate their non hostilities telepathically. It worked for Treadwell, almost.
    Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day,
    Teach a man to fish and he'll also learn to drink, lie, and avoid the honey do list.

  9. #9
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    welfare state of Alaska
    Posts
    5,153

    Default green

    Do these little green alien spacemen have Green Cards or are they illegal like so many other aliens?
    Living the urban lifestyle so I can pay my way and for my family's needs, and support my country. And you?
    ".. ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country" JFK

  10. #10
    Premium Member MarineHawk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    1,940

    Default

    To all Alaskans and other Earthlings:

    Please ignore the original post in this thread. It was sent in error. No aliens have landed or abducted MarineHawk, and certainly no invading aliens are attempting to replicate any earthling mammals. This was a false alarm caused by a few of my accidental errant key strokes. I apologize for the confusion. What I intended to ask was whether there are any good earthly weapons that may be used by friendly earthling homonoids to be used only to occasionally subdue and assist large and medium-sized earthling mammals in remote nordic earth environments who need medical assistance. Any information is appreciated and only will be used to engage in helpful wildlife managment projects. To be clear, any conveyed earthling technology will not be used to attempt to replicate any honimoid or ursidae species in order to allow a space alien takeover of your planet. It's all about the environment.

    Ever your faithful co-hominoid.

    MarineHawk.

  11. #11
    Supporting Member iofthetaiga's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Tanana Valley AK
    Posts
    7,217

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MarineHawk View Post
    To all Alaskans and other Earthlings:

    Please ignore the original post in this thread. It was sent in error. No aliens have landed or abducted MarineHawk, and certainly no invading aliens are attempting to replicate any earthling mammals. This was a false alarm caused by a few of my accidental errant key strokes. I apologize for the confusion. What I intended to ask was whether there are any good earthly weapons that may be used by friendly earthling homonoids to be used only to occasionally subdue and assist large and medium-sized earthling mammals in remote nordic earth environments who need medical assistance. Any information is appreciated and only will be used to engage in helpful wildlife managment projects. To be clear, any conveyed earthling technology will not be used to attempt to replicate any honimoid or ursidae species in order to allow a space alien takeover of your planet. It's all about the environment.

    Ever your faithful co-hominoid.

    MarineHawk.
    ...........
    Quote Originally Posted by MarineHawk View Post
    Sometimes, nonsense is nonsense, no matter how you try to spin it after it first appears.
    ...he who knows nothing is nearer to truth than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods & errors. ~Thomas Jefferson
    I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief. ~Gerry Spence
    The last thing Alaska needs is another bigot. ~member Catch It
    #Resist

  12. #12
    Premium Member MarineHawk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    1,940

    Default

    I agree. It does have about as much substantive merit to it as the Clement quote. Only I was trying to be funny.

  13. #13
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Eureka MT
    Posts
    3,048

    Default

    Some folks just haven't got a sense of humor. I got a good chuckle from it though. Thanks MH.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •